Hello!
I just graduated Polytechnic and I’m trying to make my next step to the goals I have. However, I had a rough internship period in which I was so tired to even think and to shower after getting home. I also had to take care of the house and ran errands when my grand aunt was diagnosed with Cancer last December while others were taking a break from internship. I also had a rough work from home life as she was demanding care when I was working and sometimes getting scolded didn’t help make my day better. Despite all this, I applied to 2 top universities although I had a very tough time to get started to application with procrastination. I also messed up my final intern presentation by not preparing and only sleeping 4 hours the night before. Well, I was still interning at that point since I extended and I had an attitude of not wanting to care anything at that time. I got a B unexpectedly and my grades fell due to internship. And I just got rejected by one of the universities. I am an international student and I have to find a job asap to get a pass to stay here as well. I know I should not give excuses, I should have better handled the stress and have more resilience. Now I can’t cope with the fact that I sabotaged my future and made the wrong choices. I even regret choosing the course I graduated because I am sure I would have done better in another course which I’m not that much passionate about. And I’m not happy that I graduated at all. Everyone was happy and emotional, but all I think about is how much of a failure I have become. I was a top scorer and even got into director’s honour roll in my first year. I had always been a high achiever all my life. Now I’m just someone who graduated without a merit and doesn’t have much friends. I feel that all the hard work I put for 2 years went into the drain because of a 6 month internship and my inability to regulate my emotions and handle stress. I don’t like myself and cannot forgive myself for all the mistakes I made. I regret so much and I don’t know how to proceed with my life. Please let me know how to cope with regrets and self-hatred so that I can move forward with a clear head. Thank you.
Hi, I just want to say it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed with everything you’ve been through. Facing a tough internship, family responsibilities, and university applications all at once is a lot for anyone.
Your past achievements—being a top scorer and making the director’s honor roll—show your ability and potential. One rough period doesn’t erase that. Mistakes and setbacks are part of growth, even if it’s hard to see right now.
Try focusing on small, practical steps like updating your resume, exploring jobs, or connecting with mentors. Every step forward rebuilds confidence.
Be kind to yourself. Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean ignoring mistakes—it means freeing yourself to move forward. You’re capable, and your future still has plenty of opportunities.
I would like to help you and share my experience about the career. If you don’t mind, could you contact me via pm on let’s talk?
Dear @star4
Thank you for reaching out. Reading your post I see you that are under a lot of strain. This includes dealing with internship stress, caregiving responsibilities, burnout, and uncertainty about your future. Anyone in your position who is under that amount of pressure would struggle too.
Far from a “lack of resilience”, I see someone experiencing exhaustion and emotional overload. Despite that, you finished internship, graduated Polytechnic, and applied to universities and this shows perseverance.
Do be kind to yourself. You went through a difficult period. I also think a difficult 6 months does not erase your abilities or your future. Right now, focus on stabilising yourself step by step: finding work, securing your pass, resting properly, and rebuilding your confidence slowly. It may also help to talk to someone you trust or use the mindline support resources available through the service wayfinding feature.
If you need to engage a counsellor immediately please call the national mindline at 1771 (hotline which operates 24/7).
Do seek much deserved support soon.
This low period will pass with your determination, so keep moving forward one step at a time.