Dear @negtots ,
Thank you for coming here to share your struggles with us. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of strong emotions and inner conflict, which can be really challenging. It’s great that you’re reaching out for support. Well done! 
If you feel comfortable, could you please share a bit more about what you mean by the devil and angel fighting in your mind? It’s common to experience conflicting thoughts between our moral values and our desire to connect with others. If you truly feel that something is wrong, it’s normal to feel anger and frustration when someone you care about doesn’t share the same values.
We can rationalise a situation, but if it doesn’t feel right in our body, our emotions will signal that something isn’t okay. May I invite you to reflect further on what specifically about the situation didn’t feel right for you? Have you had similar experiences in the past? Is there a pattern you’ve noticed?
Here are some journal prompts that might help you explore these feelings:
- Describe a recent situation where you felt the “devil and angel” conflict in your mind. What were the thoughts and emotions you experienced?
- Reflect on a time when you felt frustrated or angry with your girlfriend. What values or expectations were involved?
- Write about a moment when you successfully managed your emotions in a difficult situation. What strategies did you use, and how did it feel?
- Think about past experiences where you’ve had similar emotional outbursts. What common triggers or patterns do you notice?
- Explore what “feeling right in your body” means to you. How do your emotions and physical sensations interact in moments of conflict?
Our emotions are not meant to be controlled; they are meant to serve as warning signals, letting us know when something feels good or bad. Instead of trying to control your emotions, it may be more helpful to learn to feel them and ride the emotional wave. Developing Emotional Regulation Skills can assist with this. For example:
- Breathing Exercises: When you feel an emotional outburst coming on, try taking deep, slow breaths. This can help calm your nervous system and give you a moment to think before reacting.
- Mindfulness and Meditation: Practising mindfulness and meditation can help you stay grounded and more aware of your emotions as they arise, allowing you to respond to them with greater ease.
Anger isn’t a bad emotion; it serves as a useful signal from our body that a boundary has been crossed. It’s our response to anger that we can improve upon. Learning to pause and respond only when we are calm can significantly strengthen our relationships and friendships. If you feel an outburst coming on, it’s perfectly okay to take a step back and pause the conversation. Communicate to your girlfriend that you need a moment to calm down and gather your thoughts.
You may also want to consider talking to a counsellor or therapist who can provide you with strategies to manage your emotions and understand the root causes of your inner conflict. They can also offer support and guidance tailored to your specific situation.
Managing emotions can feel difficult and it’s okay to struggle sometimes. Be patient and kind with yourself as you improve your self-regulation skills. It is an important life skill that takes time and practice to develop.
I hope the above has been helpful and if you’d like more resources or if there is anything else you’d like to share with us, please do. We’re here to listen to you, your feelings are valid and you matter! 
Take care,
Cool Breeze =)