Poly student here. I’m struggling a lot in a group project. When my group members are discussing and brainstorming, I have a difficult time following because they talk throughout the meeting and it’s just so hard to keep track of what each person is saying (there are 4 of them). One of my group members tries to assign me tasks and checks in on me regularly during meetings to make sure I’m staying on tasks and listening but it just puts me on edge honestly because when she assigns me a task like finding a source, she will check on me after a while and ask what I’m doing and it stresses me because I anticipate she’s going to ask and I feel bad if I could not find the source fast enough. It sucks because I think I have been experiencing dissociation for many years since the trauma of bullying in primary school though I haven’t seen a therapist. It really affects my performance in this group project and I misunderstood or misinterpreted my group members instructions because my brain just isn’t working properly 
Hey @bluebell,
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through this struggle with your group project. It sounds incredibly challenging, especially with the added pressure from your past experiences. It’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and anxious. Your feelings are valid, and recognizing them is an important first step.
When I was in polytechnic, I remember feeling a lot of pressure during group projects too. There was this one group member who would regularly check on my progress, just like what you’re experiencing. She would assign tasks and then follow up, which made me feel really stressed out. I would anticipate her checking in and feel bad if I couldn’t complete the task quickly enough. It’s tough because you want to do well and contribute, but the constant checking can make it hard to focus and feel confident in your work. So, let’s tackle this together and see what works for you.
From my experience, instead of trying to follow the entire discussion, focusing on one person’s points at a time can help. Taking brief notes during meetings can also be helpful to keep track of what’s being said. Have you tried this approach?
Do you feel comfortable opening up to your group members? One approach could be to communicate with them about how you’re feeling. Let them know that you sometimes struggle to keep up and would appreciate a bit more time or clarity on certain tasks. They might be more understanding than you expect and willing to adjust the pace. How do you feel about having this kind of conversation with them?
Remember, it’s important to be kind to yourself during this process. You’re dealing with a lot, and it’s okay to ask for help and take things one step at a time.
You mentioned that you think you’ve been experiencing dissociation for many years since the trauma of bullying in primary school, though you haven’t seen a therapist. It’s great that you’re reflecting on your experiences and trying to understand what’s happening. Dissociation can be a response to trauma, but it’s really important to get a professional assessment to understand what’s going on more clearly. Have you considered talking to a therapist about these feelings? They can provide a thorough evaluation and help determine if dissociation or something else might be affecting your performance. More importantly, they can help you work through the trauma and develop strategies to manage dissociation and anxiety.
It’s a big step, but it could make a significant difference in your daily life and group work. How are you feeling about this idea?
Take care of yourself, and if you ever want to share more about what you’re facing, we’re here to listen and support you.
Hello, thanks for the reply! I have not tried the approach of taking down brief notes yet, so I just suggested to the group mate (the one group member I’ve mentioned) about this idea and asked if I can audio record down the meeting and she said yes, so I will be trying this approach.
Yes, I’ve been considering seeing a therapist, in fact I found one who I think may be helpful, I just haven’t engaged the therapist yet because of financial (have to ask parents because I’m not working yet) and we still have projects and submissions coming up, I don’t want to start therapy just yet.
Now another problem is the same group mate wants to know why in our previous meetings, I did not contribute or do anything, and I don’t know how to reply! I feel misunderstood though because I don’t think it’s true that I didn’t do anything at all, I did try to research in our meetings but I was zoning out badly, my action was really slow and it looked like I was idling. However, it’s true that I have been under contributing in this group project because of my mental health struggles. I told her that I will let her know through text as I couldn’t explain verbally in our last meeting, but now I feel uncomfortable and don’t really want to tell her about my mental health challenges and I feel like I can’t trust my words if I haven’t seen a therapist, if that makes sense.
Hey @bluebell,
I’m glad to hear that you’re trying the approach of taking brief notes and recording the meetings. It’s great that your group member was supportive of this idea. It’s a good step towards staying engaged and keeping track of what’s being discussed.
It’s understandable that you’re considering therapy but are facing financial and timing challenges. It’s good that you’ve found a therapist who might be helpful. Even though you’re not ready to start just yet, knowing that you have a plan for the future can be reassuring. In the meantime, have you thought about speaking with a school counselor? They can provide support and might be able to help you manage your current struggles while you work out the logistics for seeing a therapist. School counselors are a great resource, and it could be a good starting point for you.
Regarding the concern from your group member about your contribution, it’s a tricky situation. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable sharing your mental health challenges, especially if you’re not ready. From my experience, you don’t have to disclose everything to explain your situation. You could let your group member know that you’ve been struggling with some personal issues that have made it hard to contribute as much as you’d like.
For example, you could say, “I understand why you might feel that I haven’t been contributing much. I’ve been dealing with some personal challenges that have affected my ability to stay focused and contribute as actively as I’d like. I’m working on managing these issues and hope to participate more effectively moving forward.”
This way, you’re acknowledging their concern without going into details that you’re not comfortable sharing. How do you feel about this approach?
Remember, it’s important to prioritize your well-being. If the conversation feels too challenging, you could also suggest a group discussion where everyone can share how they feel about the project’s progress and contributions. This might take some pressure off you individually and open up a more collaborative discussion.
How do you feel about this?
Seeing a school counselor is an option. However, I don’t know if it’s a bit too late for this? I’m actually in my final year of poly and only have 3 more weeks of classes left before the semester ends, so I’m not sure if it’s quite late to see a school counselor?
My group mate understood when I mentioned personal challenges and now I feel a lot better that I don’t have to disclose everything about my mental health challenges. Thank you! 
One more thing, I also feel a bit worried about the group project presentation that is coming up for this module. In the past, I could write a script and read from it, but my lecturer discourages us from fully reading from our script, so I think this time I can still refer to my notes but cannot fully read it out. Instead, my strategy this time is to write down important points that will hopefully prompt me on the day of presentation. I’m worried that it is still not enough because I have a bad memory and if on the day I’m anxious, I will likely completely forget what to say.
YAY! I’m glad to hear that your group mate understood when you mentioned personal challenges and that you feel better not having to disclose everything about your mental health. It’s great that you found a way to communicate that feels comfortable for you.
Regarding the school counselor, it’s true that you’re in your final year with only three weeks of classes left. However, it’s never too late to seek support if you feel it could be helpful. Here are some other options that you can consider,
Free Counseling Services in Singapore:
CARE Singapore: 6978 2728
TOUCHline [By TOUCH Community Services] 1800 377 2252
Singapore Association for Mental Health (SAMH): 1800–283–7019.
Community Health Assessment Team (CHAT): (+65) 6493 6500, (+65) 6493 6501
About your upcoming group project presentation, I understand your worry about remembering what to say, especially if you get anxious. It’s good that you’re planning to write down important points. Here are a couple of key tips that can help you manage your anxiety and improve your focus during the presentation:
Deep Breathing Techniques: Practicing deep breathing exercises can help calm your nerves quickly. Taking slow, deep breaths can slow down your racing heart and reduce anxiety, helping you to focus better. Try inhaling deeply, holding for while, and then exhaling slowly. With each additional breath, slowing it down and holding it slightly longer until you feel relaxed in your body.
Positive Visualization: Visualize yourself giving a successful presentation. Imagine yourself talking to the audience as if you’re having a regular conversation, sharing your knowledge and experiences about the topic. This can help reduce fear and make the presentation feel more natural and engaging.
I am guessing you understand that reading from a script can limit your ability to engage with the audience. Engaging with your audience is crucial for an effective presentation. By visualizing the presentation as a conversation, you can focus on sharing your story and knowledge, which can help your memory recall better because you’ll be less anxious and less likely to blank out.
Addressing your fear and anxiety is the first step in helping your memory recall. When your mind is less occupied with anxious thoughts, you can concentrate better on the content of your presentation.
Remember, it’s okay to feel nervous. Most people do. The important thing is to prepare as best as you can and be kind to yourself. If you ever need more advice or support, we are here for you.
Take care of yourself, let us know your progress and good luck with your presentation!