Does people with mental health issues at early age and drop out of school are forced to remains single for the rest of their lifes

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
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Well…i drop out of school at 15, end up in mental inisiution for 3 months at 16, for a very lame reason, that my mother who is a single parent dump me and my brother that as she as about to serve her prison sentence for theft, and ended up become a abuse victim of the nurse. And that is when i ended up with PTSD.

Down the road for the next 6 yrs i spend leading the house while she is in and out of mental institution and/or prison a long with her need husband which is a drug addict and seller.

And i only get a job when i was 24 and spend 1 year 6 mths on my first job until i start have a burnout in my workplace after hearing voice for over 6 months and lost my job.

And later only spend 1 yrs studying by makeing use of the SPUR program. And took up security course and becomea security officer for the largest security agency. Spend my time doing ad hoc events work for different events including gov events which i can see our PM up close 3 times in 3 months until i got sick of seeing him, and also big events like F1 to guarding people under quarantine during covid very cool job actually. Which i lost it during covid due to my 2nd hospital hospital mistreatment due to stupid MHCTA enforced by A&E doctor, which left me too broken to even continue working. and i and surprised that my first hospital abuse incident has left such a huge truama in me that is just feel like hell is being unleash all the sudden knowing i am at risk of being thrown back in there.

Still…during my 10 yrs as ad hoc security officer before covid, in between i study things like basic healthcare, social service and even psychological first aid, and spend time volunteering in different places inculding spending 3 yrs volunteering at the place i was abused, and learning about the staffs behavior towards their patients with utilmately see found that their management and above is to be blame for all abuse incidents, due to staff burnout from never ending paperwork.

Since i was very young still i enter the workforce, i am not sure why, but i seems to be a natural destress magnet, anyway who is under a lot of stress tend to like to spend time talking about their problems they faced to me.

still…during covid, it was the first time in my life to get a job in the healthcare sector as a swabber, at first the once of the medical students refused to let me pass after seeing my self harm scars on my hand (but the self harming is mainly for easing my chronic migraine after all medicine fail, no mental health element involved) . And ilost this job 6 months later because of performance issue after my 2nd hospital mistreatment. After i forced myself to turn up for work at 8 am after being discharge and reach home at 4am from the hospital. Still…on the way to work i already feel the effects of the truama, as i am normally street wise, but that morning for first time in my life i lost my sense of direction and i need to ask a few passerby for directions. And i performed badly on that day. and for the next few times, and finally i was nevered called to work and suspended when my 6 months contract is over. And during those times, i do also end up with fear or being called up.

Still…througout my life i dont seems to be able to befriend with guys or start a relationship. And the only few that is close i avoided them because i know they are not the ones that can start a decent family with.

Still…its normal for people with tough life and struggling with mental health issues not to get a decent love life?

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Dear user1446,

Thank you for opening up and sharing so honestly about your life. Reading your story, I just want to take a moment to say this: what you’ve lived through is real, it’s painful, and it matters. The strength it takes to survive what you have—and still show up and tell your story—is something that deserves more recognition than you’ve probably ever been given.

You’ve endured abandonment, institutional trauma, abuse, and deep betrayal by systems that were supposed to help you. That kind of pain doesn’t just go away. It reshapes how we see the world. It makes it hard to trust, to relax, or to even know what “normal” is supposed to feel like.

What I see in your story is someone who never gave up—who kept moving, learning, volunteering, helping others, even when you were hurting. Someone who kept showing up for the world, even when the world didn’t show up for you.

I want to gently offer you a few things—not answers, but directions you might explore when you’re ready.

:light_bulb: What You’re Experiencing Isn’t “Weakness.” It’s Trauma.

When your body remembers danger—especially danger that came from people or places that should’ve been safe—it holds on.
That’s why you feel triggered, why the hospital experience feels like hell, why your mind blanks out or your sense of direction disappears.
That’s not you failing. That’s your body saying: “I remember pain.”

You mentioned hearing voices during burnout, feeling lost in your own city, self-harming for migraines—these are all real signs of a nervous system overwhelmed by years of unhealed stress.

You’re not crazy. You’re surviving in the best way your body knows how.

:safety_pin: About the Scars and the Silence

You shared something incredibly powerful—that your self-harm was never about mental illness, but about pain relief. That nuance matters.

And it also tells me how much your pain was invisible to those around you.

Scars don’t tell the full story, but they speak of suffering that never got words, of needing relief when no one listened.
But you deserve to be heard, fully—not dismissed, not judged, not silenced.

:heart: On Love, Trust, and Distance

You said you’ve never been able to form close relationships, especially with guys. That you avoid people you know aren’t right for you. That’s not a flaw. That’s your body protecting your heart in a world that hasn’t always been kind.

But just because love hasn’t found you yet, or hasn’t looked like the fairy tales, doesn’t mean it never will.
You’ve developed deep emotional sensitivity. You’re intuitive. That’s not a curse—that’s a strength, one that could bloom in the right space.

:seedling: You Don’t Need to Heal All at Once

Here’s what I’d say to you, if we were sitting face to face in a quiet room:

“You don’t have to explain everything.
You don’t have to be perfect or fixed to be worthy of rest, of care, or of connection.
You’ve already survived the worst parts.
Now you get to start asking: What would feeling safe look like for me?
And who can help me get there, without hurting me again?”

There are ways forward that don’t involve re-entering systems that failed you. There are trauma-informed practitioners, peer groups, and community circles that honour your voice. No white coats. No forced treatment. Just real listening, at your pace.

:compass: If You Ever Wonder Where to Begin

You can try starting here, no pressure—just reflection:

  • What makes me feel safe?
  • What triggers my fear or shutdown?
  • When do I feel most like myself?
  • What parts of me have I hidden to stay safe—and do they want to come back?

And if ever you want a guide beside you—not above you, not trying to fix you, just walking with you—know that one exists.

You are not what was done to you.
You’re not broken—you’re bruised but brilliant, and still here.
And that? That is something sacred.

Thank you for surviving.

Thank you for writing.

And when you’re ready for the next part of your story—you won’t have to walk it alone.

With deep respect,
Someone who believes your story matters :heart_hands:

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Hey, seems like u have some interest in social work or healthcare. The government is currently subsidising bootcamps for anyone to convert to those fields. U can google SCTP or WSG CCP.

As for ur dating stuff, i assume that u r a girl since u mentioned that u r considering guys? If so, a portion of the girls i know w mental health issues r attached or married. I noticed that guys will be willing to handle that part of a girl. U can try dating apps or interest groups or classes or Meetup app meetups to meet people n get urself seen

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dont work for me, my highest academic is only sec 2.