Read the news yesterday about Fei Yue trying to reach out to hidden adult via online games.
I am really like what the hack. I have been looking for help everywhere and noone wants to help me and yet there is a group of social workers hunting for hidden adults via online games.
I was literally in their face waving and they are really like meh.
Perhaps i need to wait for the scheme to come out that helps invisible adult that social workers didn’t even see, even we are standing right in front of them.
I hate the fact that unlike many with mental health issues, i always end up the one looking around islandwide for help. Never for once in my life that someone offer to help me to find help. Maybe pershaps one when i really feel pampered with care and support, that is when i resort into self harm, but 4 month later i am being throw back into the pits to rot with no one to help me.
I guess that is the life of someone who is not a IMH patient when all the resources are focused on IMH patients. Still… if the help is anything related to MHCTA, pls get out of my sight, i dont need you to make my life worse.
Hi @user1446,
Thank you for taking your time to write in to Let’s Talk! It must have really been exhausting and demoralizing for you especially when you spend so much energy looking for support, and having to watch those resources go elsewhere, and feeling invisible to same people whose job is to support and notice you. It makes sense you would feel really frustrated about it.
I also noticed from you post that you mentioned self-harm. Is that something that has been on your mind recently? Or would you say that you’re in a much safer and better place with that now? I just wanted to check in on how you’re doing right now.
There are some resources that might resonate with you here that is outside the IMH pathway. I hope you can consider exploring these resources:
- For counselling and support, Fei Yue community services do have general counselling services too. The same one you saw in the news
- Helpline and counselling. You can consider National Mindline 1771. They operate 24/7 and provided an anonymous mental health platform that provides a space for individuals to access free self-help tools and community health resources
- If things get harder, you can also consider Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) at 1767. They have trained counsellors for crisis related concerns
Please know that you do not have to go through this alone! 
LoL… pls make up your mind to rejected or approved post, don’t behave like jokers, rejected liao later approved and later rejected again. Don’t flood my email with all the rejected and approved email pls. I get like 5 for this post already. Counselors and social workers, stop behaving like snowflakes, if everything is to sensitive to talked about how the hack you want people to seek help. Fact is facts, regardless how hard to try to hide it’s still the facts.
And some more we are talking about reaching out to the hidden population and when you are hiding my post. Funny lar.
Well… at least i know those that are more proactive in seeking support is often being ignore, seek mental health professionals mindset is if if the person know how to ask for help they are least of the priority since they will always be on the surface asking for help, be it 1 yr, 2 yrs, 3 yrs, 5 yrs, 10 yrs, 15 yrs or even 20 yrs later you will still find them on the surface asking for help. And this is that kind of sicko mentality that waste people’s life away until it reach the stage of beyond savage.
What i hate most it the referral system some org has, which they need another professional to tai chi to them before they consider taking the case in, so if someone needed help cannot find a professional to do the tai chi, well that is it lor, get ready to rot away.
I have seen far to many rejections and Fei Yue is one of them that reject me.
But i guess i really love how mental health and social service professional shoo away from me as if i have some kind of infectious disease that will killed them if they are close to me. I guess no one dare to touch a person who mental health issues if the psychiatrist don’t dare to do anything. Still…CPTSD is a walking time bomb when its not treated, and even a psychiatrists have zero idea which wire to cut to not trigger the entire CPTSD episode.
Still…nowadays is not easy for me to feel secure enough to seek help without fearing of being triggered.
Until mental health support org decided not to make people seeking help invisible, i guess its hard for people like me to get help.
For now i guess i can help others but noone can help me.
Thanks for sharing. The line about " I can help others, but no one can help me". It sounds like it has been that way for a long time now…and it can really be a lonely place to be in. And about the referral that’s really a point you raised well, especially when that has been a gap in the system. The need for someone to vouch for you just to get through the door, and if you do not have that person, you are just left out.
CPTSD is one of those conditions where even professionals can cause harm if they do not know what they are doing, so the fear of being triggered by the process of seekking help is valid and real. That is not irrational but learned from experience.
May I ask, when you say you can help others, what does that look like for you?
Well…i and my Emotional support dog are animal assisted activities volunteer for a few orgs.
He is a untrained dog and has his own personality, rejected by most of the therapy dog orgs, but i know he is born for it, so i apply to be a volunteer for ourselves. Many seniors love him for his cheeky and untamed personality, although he not train, but he know how to behave himself and seek attention, unlike well trained dogs, he will show you his angry face when he is angry.
Sadly…Singapore healthcare and social service professionals are badly trained in this field Especially those graduated before 2020. As in Singapore’s higher education system, they dont believe trauma exist in Singapore. Its only recent years that add on for truama intervention starts to pop up, but guess what? most what taught by those who never study them during their local university yrs.
sadly…that is how it is, and if the first case work dont know the resources available, they will just tell them they cannot do any, and there are also many caseworkers that seems to hate refferal work, so they just turn their client away.
And there are many support groups that also look up for gov for info, so they will only accept clients if refer by SSO or if the person has a blue CHAS card. Still…how many people needed help has a blue chas card. And there is also people like me, everyone in the family is working and total monthly family income is over 6k and yet i am struggling to stay a float because i am not spending their money.
That’s really sad to hear. I’m also looking for someone to help me as a hidden adult. I actually thought of seeking Fei Yue for help personally since they are specially for hidden youths and adults. Hearing what you have said makes me take a step back. Do you mind sharing why and how did Fei Yue rejected you? I hope you’re able to find someone who can really help you.
It’s always the same old grandmother story bah, appear on news and their website says a lot, but when you really ask them, all they say is they can only provide counselling services and nothing else due to lack of funding and gov dont fund their programs.etc etc. And if you ask them, if that is the case, why post so much when not able to deliver, the caseworker will go blur saying he/she doesn’t even know they have such a service.
A lot of times, a lot of help and support is only given to a “special” few for publicity’s sake. All of them are like this. Be it a hospital, social service or mental health care.
Until today, of all the mental health orgs I have asked, not a single one can tell me where the government’s millions of $$$ in mental health funding goes to. But I do know that many yrs back there was a 5 mil funding for mental health support, and it all goes to that very one hospital, and they have a hard time spending all of it. So much so that they start asking everyone what the wards and activities need. Back then I was a volunteer there, so they did ask me to come up with a list of what was needed for the activity, and they would go and buy it.
But it is good for you to consider seeking help with Fei Yue, they have expanded a lot in the past 2 yrs or so. But make sure the case worker is into 2 way sharing and not 1 way. Most of the time in 1 way sharing will make it seem as if you are the only person in this world with problems.
You built something meaningful out of the situation with your dog especially when your dog got rejectd by the therapy dog organisations, and you saw something in him that others have missed. I think that is really powerful especially coming from someone who also knows the feeling of being overlooked by systems that are supposed to help.
The gap in training is real, and the harm that can come from poorly handled trauma work is not a small matter. I can understand why you would be careful about who you let near that.
The income threshold issue is also a real bind that catches a lot of people especially when the requirements or criteria can be quite stict.
Sadly…most of the professionals that able to handle trauma work is in private practice and many of them learn it from overseas and rarely in local schools.
And there is also animal-assisted therapy in private practice that is out of reach of low income singaporean without a special referral for partial funding from the government. And there is no schemes available for people seeking help from private practice, at full waiver for unemployed Singaporeans.
Its always a sad fact that recovery is only given to a select few special people. And most people needed help are just left to rot under the system and resort into begging for a living, afterall, there need to be the poor to take in order for the rich to give. And its also how jobs is generated within the sector, this is pretty much the worldwide trend not just locally.
I was actually happy to see them in the news and thought I could seek help. They’re the only service in Singapore helping hidden youths and adults. Counselling can be helpful, but for some people, counselling alone isn’t enough. If they can’t provide certain services due to funding limitations, then they should be upfront and clear about what they can and cannot do, rather than giving the impression that more support is available than what they can actually deliver.
I was also wondering why so far they have only helped 100+ youths and 40+ adults over the years. I believe there are a lot more people out there who genuinely need help as a hidden youth or adult. Their website states that they help parents reach a hidden child, but what about those who are hidden and do not have an advocate speaking up for them? For YGOS, you can reach out to them even without a parent, but they’re only for youths. If a parent can reach out for their child, it means that somehow they can help their child. What about “helpless” hidden youths and adults? Are “helpless” hidden youths and adults forever meant to be helpless and have to find their own way out themselves? When they are the ones who need support and help the most. Not every hidden youth or adult has a parent who knows about their situation or is willing to speak up for them.
I don’t have anyone to advocate for me, and I know counselling is not enough for my situation so I don’t think I’m able to receive help from them from what you have shared. I gave up hope of seeking help. Hearing what you have said is very disappointing. It makes me feel like no one really cares about people like us, and that we are the ones who have to get ourselves out of being hidden. I don’t even know where to turn to either. I’m hoping to get out of being a hidden adult, but there is no help available. I don’t want to remain hidden forever, but without support, I can’t get out on my own.
You stated a good point as well. When it comes to help, it needs two hands to hold and support. If it’s one-sided, it’s like you’re pushing yourself through everything alone just to get help. Asking for help should not mean that the person has to do everything themselves.