How to be mentally flexible not stubborn?

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How to be mentally flexible not stubborn? I feel that I am very stubborn regarding to doing advice that was given. Anyone can teach me how not to be stubborn and be flexible? Thanks alot

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Hi @Salmoncake,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts— Becoming more mentally flexible is a skill, and like any skill, it takes time and practice.

Let’s start by exploring what makes it hard to follow advice. Sometimes, resistance to advice can stem from wanting to stay in control, fearing failure, or even feeling misunderstood by others. These are natural reactions.

Here are some small steps one can take to practice mental flexibility:

  1. Pause and Reflect: When notice resisting advice, pause and ask:

Why do I feel resistant to this?

Is it because I don’t believe in the advice, or is it uncomfortable for me to try something new?

What would it mean for me to just try?

  1. Start Small: Instead of trying to follow advice fully, pick one small aspect of it to test out. For example, if someone suggests a new habit, try it for just a few minutes a day or modify it to suit comfort level.

  2. Practice Curiosity: Think of advice as an experiment. Tell yourself, “I’m not committing to this forever; I’m just curious to see how it feels if I try.”

  3. Build Self-Compassion: It’s okay if some advice doesn’t work or feels hard to follow. Instead of judging self, remind self that this is part of the learning process.

  4. Celebrate Wins: When you do try something new, no matter how small, acknowledge your effort. Flexibility grows when we build on positive reinforcement.

If it feels helpful, one might want to write down reflections after trying a new piece of advice, like what worked, what didn’t, and how it felt.

Let me know the suggestions help?

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Hi @Salmoncake,

Thank you for sharing your feelings about being stubborn and your desire to be more flexible. It takes a lot of courage to recognize this in yourself and to ask for help. It’s completely normal to struggle with being open to advice, especially when we feel strongly about our own views.

One approach might be to practice mindfulness and self-reflection. When you receive advice, take a moment to pause and consider it from different perspectives before responding. You could also try to focus on the positives of being flexible, such as the potential for growth and new opportunities.

Remember, it’s a journey, and being open to change is something that takes time and practice. I’m here to support you as you work through this!

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@Salmoncake Sometimes, it’s more about how we interpret the advice. For instance, if advice comes from someone we don’t like or respect, we might dismiss it right away, even if it’s solid. It’s easy to think, “I don’t like this person, so their advice isn’t worth listening to,” but separating the person from the advice itself can help.

Perhaps ask yourself: Why does this advice feel hard to accept? Is it because it challenges your values, or does it just feel outside your comfort zone? Looking at it objectively rather than personally helps you be more flexible.

Take it step by step, and be kind to yourself in the process! :slight_smile:

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Hi Han Solo! Thanks for the reply! Appreciated that you typed everything down:) you mentioned about consider it from different perspectives before responding. What do you mean then? Example if my dad advice me to watch tv programs instead of reading to cultivate an open mind, then how does it work? :blush:

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Sorry fuyuan resisting advice means saying no to the advice is it? Since you are a professional. Can you give me all the ways you know to be flexible and open minded :blush: and also when you mentioned advice do you mean like when my dad tells me bathe earlier and drink milk in the morning etc… This kind of instruction Is that too?^^ is like healthhub information that to do also counted as advice too? thanks fuyuan for helping me!:heart:

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Hi @Salmoncake ! :blush:

First of all, I really appreciate your thoughtful questions and your openness to understanding yourself better—it shows a lot of self-awareness and a strong desire to grow. :bulb: Let me break this down step by step so we can explore it together:

What Does “Resisting Advice” Mean?

Resisting advice could mean saying “no” to advice outright, but it’s also broader than that. It might look like:

  • Hesitating or avoiding following suggestions, even when you know they might help.
  • Feeling uncomfortable or defensive when someone gives you advice, even if they mean well.
  • Ignoring or dismissing advice, possibly because it doesn’t resonate with you or feels overwhelming.

Does that sound familiar to you? Let me know if you see yourself in any of these examples or if there’s a specific situation you’d like to talk about. :blush:

What Counts as Advice?

Yes, advice can come in many forms! It could be:

  • Practical suggestions from your dad, like “bathe earlier” or “drink milk in the morning.”
  • Health recommendations from resources like HealthHub, which encourage routines for a healthier lifestyle.
  • Emotional or mental guidance, like tips to stay calm or manage your thoughts better.

The key is that advice is someone’s way of sharing what they think might help you. But remember, advice is only as useful as how it fits your own needs and goals, and it should be finding what helps you. We may not see the tangible benefits immediately, but that does not mean that we do not see the benefits in the future.

Your Journey to Flexibility

Remember, flexibility is about finding balance—it’s about staying open to possibilities that might help you grow. It’s okay to be curious and asking questions. :muscle:

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Thanks for the time and appreciate your prompt reply! :slight_smile: it has helped me improve my life! :slight_smile:

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Another last question, How do I know if it works then? For how it works to reflect on the advice

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Hi @Salmoncake,

It boils down to how do you feel? After you have taken action on the received advice, do you feel comfort? satisfied? Do you feel if you have achieved something that contributes to your goals? You may want to think about how this advise contributes to it. :slight_smile:

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Sorry fuyuan, the how are you feeling is only satisfied and comfort issit >< are there other feelings itself? :slight_smile:

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Meaning? If you felt differently? If you do not see how it helps you, you may feel discomfort initially since you are following this advice for the first time?

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Okay I see>< thanks fuyuan! :heart: