Got retrenched from programming job few years ago due to bad market, took temp jobs in between and finally just got back to the same job. However, it’s only been a few weeks and I’ve been crying so often at just the thought of going to the office.
I know I am burnout from the original career path (programming) and I’m looking to change to a less stressful career. I need the salary and thus the only motivation for me to work is “I will quit at end of the month” but still, almost every night I will cry while I’m alone. And I’m not even sure if this turmoil is pms.
Logically I have my plans set but I can’t control my emotions. Talking and crying to my mum helps but once I’m alone, I’m in tears again at just a tiny thought of my career.
I need help to stop this please.
Dear @proudsheep3633
Thank you for reaching out. Reading your post, I can feel how much you have gone through in the past programming job and that it has left you exhausted. Now that you have gone back into the same field that had burned you out, it is triggering a lot of emotional pain. I believe the stress/hurt from your past is still being stored and remembered by your body.
The crying, emotional responses and dread arise from the overwhelm you are experiencing.
May I recommend to focus on just getting through each day instead of worrying about the direction of your whole career. When the thoughts come at night, don’t try to solve everything. Let yourself feel it, or write it out, or have some background noise so you’re not alone in silence.
I am glad that you have been reaching out to your mother for support. May I also suggest you speak to a counsellor soon to process what you are experiencing and to manage the stress, burnout and triggers.
You don’t have to carry this alone any longer. You deserve unconditional support and understanding as you navigate burnout and stress. 