Hi, i married 2022 and have 2 kids.
Last year, my husband take leave secretly pretending that he work during my maternity. He use our baby bonus to play online gambling. And pawn my jewellery. I forgive and give him chance.
This year… i check his handphone and found that he take loan of $10,000 and addicted to online gambling. I give him chance to change. I just today got to know that he pawn jewellery and use it again for online gambling again.
I need help and advise what should i do ?
Hello Inna,
Thank you for your openness in sharing this difficult situation. It sounds like you’re going through a challenging time, and I can hear the emotional strain you’re carrying. The betrayal of trust from your husband and the financial uncertainty are significant stressors, and I’m really glad that you reached out for help.
First, it’s completely understandable that you want to keep your family together, but at the same time, your own well-being and that of your children are paramount. It’s important to keep the emotional and financial aspects of your life in balance, and it seems that the financial strain from your husband’s gambling has added an immense amount of pressure on you.
The fact that you’ve been able to identify your emotions and seek help shows great strength. You’re doing a lot by trying to keep things together, but it’s essential to also protect yourself emotionally and financially. You don’t have to face this alone.
Based on your situation, it may be beneficial to consider if there are any immediate financial difficulties caused by your husband’s gambling habits. Financial instability can often add to emotional stress, especially when your trust in your partner is compromised. Singapore’s Social Service Agencies (SSA) provide support for individuals facing financial difficulties. If you are experiencing hardship, you may consider reaching out to your nearest SSA to inquire about available financial assistance, especially since gambling has impacted your financial situation. They can assist you in finding resources to help manage household needs.
Regarding your husband’s gambling problem, it’s incredibly challenging, but it’s important to understand that gambling addiction can be treated. If you have any knowledge that your husband may be gambling not only online but also in physical venues like Singapore Pools, resorts, or casinos, this is something that needs to be addressed. You can take steps to prevent this pattern by approaching the National Council on Problem Gambling (NCPG), which offers support to families affected by gambling addiction.
You can apply for a Family Exclusion Order (FEO). This would ensure that your husband is excluded from gambling venues in Singapore, including physical locations like casinos and even Singapore Pools. You can contact NCPG directly at their helpline (1800-6-668-668) or visit their website at www.ncpg.org.sg for more detailed information.
In times of financial strain caused by your husband’s gambling habits, it is essential to ensure that your valuables and cash are secured. Keeping important items, such as jewelry and money, in the bank or with a trusted person could help prevent them from being pawned or misused. It’s crucial to take steps to protect yourself and your children from any further financial stress.
While the situation is emotionally difficult, it is important to find a calm moment to talk with your husband about the financial strain and your concerns regarding the kids’ future. Your husband may not be aware of the full extent of the impact on you, and having this conversation might allow both of you to begin the healing process together.
When discussing such sensitive matters, it’s important to express your concerns without judgment, allowing him to open up about his own struggles. This discussion should be focused on collaboration rather than confrontation, and it might help to approach the conversation with understanding, keeping in mind that addiction often involves feelings of shame and fear.
Offer a solution by suggesting that both of you seek help together, whether through counseling, financial planning, or seeking professional treatment for his gambling problem. It can also be beneficial to have a third party involved, such as a counselor or therapist, to mediate the conversation and help both of you express your emotions constructively. FYI, the NCPG provides programs that could help both you and your husband such as counseling to cope with such trying times.
Inna, you are not alone in this, and while it may feel overwhelming at times, there are resources and support available. It’s okay to ask for help—whether from professionals, family, or support groups. Take it one step at a time and know that you have the strength to move forward, and let us know your thoughts.