I am so drained and in a slump

hi!
ever since secondary school, i feel like i’ve really changed as a person. from being so carefree in primary school to being so conscious about everything in secondary school, especially about my size (im not that plump, more of midsize girlie)

i’ve always had high expectations for myself regarding my studies. my parents are older than other parents hence idk older mindset :joy: & my older brother flunked his studies. so kinda had pressure to study well & get a good job.

rest of my sec school i was just feeling depressed and suicidal all the time. messed up but n’s and couldn’t get into poly foundation programme, which made me lose so much confidence and couldn’t stop crying for weeks and weeks.

i got into ite (joined like 2 months late cause i couldn’t even get in the course i wanted). currently im in food science and to be honest even though i wasnt that interested in this course, school was fairly decent & i met really good company.

but now im in year 2 doing my internship, and my mental health has just crumbled down again. im just a week into my internship. i had some interviews today for the next stage in my studying life but im really considering if this is what i want. like i really really want to take a break & have a gap year but im worried for so many things. but i want to prioritise myself & my mental health and im scared my parents wont agree with me. i also am not sure if taking a gap year would be a wise choice.

im so scared and confused on what i should actually pursue cause everything im trying out doesn’t intrigue me at all…
i got lab work for my intern which was what i was hoping for, but actually doing it now… i dont know how to feel??? i feel so sick of it already, and im scared that i will be the only intern left in my department soon & i will have to take over everything the past intern has been doing.

feeling so overwhelmed and i just cant stop crying every day :smiling_face_with_tear:

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Hello @user1179 thanks for sharing :people_hugging: hmm I get what you mean, sometimes the thing you are looking forward to the most gets over hyped in your mind which when doing it after awhile makes you rethink your choices. It took me awhile to get here but I realised that well at least I’m glad I tried it at least now I know what I don’t want and that’s ok.

You seem to me like a person who is driven by intrinsic goals which I can always appreciate seeing heh so don’t worry about weather you are on the right path or not cos you are its just that it aint that straight sometimes :muscle:

On weather you should take a gap year or not i always think its good to piroritise your mental well being but its also good to figure out what you plan to do during that gap year. It doesn’t necessarily have to be hardcore up skilling or travelling but having an idea of how you are going to spend the time helps remove some uncertainty for your parents and most importantly yourself :slight_smile:

If you ever need some opinions or feedback on this feel free to reply to this comment heh always happy to help :otter:

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thank you for your reply! im like 60% considering a gap year… theres so many different things i have to consider. my parents opinion, whether it’ll be harder to get in if i take a gap year etc… im really so drained that the things that used to excite me barely excites me anymore :smiling_face_with_tear: i dont know what to do… & also like i said my parents are quite old, so whenever i talk to them they cant really accept it well :sleepy: i dont know what to do

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(post deleted by author)

No worries! Hmm it seems to me like we are now focusing on considerations that are not so much within out control like our parents opinions or like weather if a gap year would affect your applications. :thinking:

Perhaps lets try thinking about how or what you can do or bringing yourself back to a state where you can. It sounds like you are really burnt out and havent had the time to take a break yet is that true?

If that’s the case hmm my suggestion is to maybe take a step back away from thinking about the problem first then do something you love like meeting friends, eating or a hobby. Then when you are calm and clear minded look at the problem from a diff perspective.

Like for me I like to go for walks in the park or to the gym it helps me to clear my mind :blush:

Dear @user1179 ,

Thank you for reach out. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling overwhelmed right now. :people_hugging: The transition from primary to secondary school can be tough, especially with the added pressure of expectations from yourself and your family. It’s important to remember that it’s okay to feel how you’re feeling, and it’s important to take care of your mental health. :orange_heart:

Your nervous system may have picked up a pattern of worrying and feeling inadequate. Working with a counsellor can help you recalibrate your nervous system. Crying a lot is a signal from your body that you aren’t feeling safe. When we don’t feel safe, our body goes into survival mode, like as if there’s a tiger in the room and not just a school deadline. It’s important for us to learn to regulate our nervous system and make space for our emotions so that we can make life choices from a place of centeredness and calmness. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

First, give yourself some credit for making it this far. Despite all the challenges, you’ve continued to push forward, even when things got really tough. Getting into ITE and finding a course that, while not your first choice, has been decent, is an accomplishment in itself. :clap:t4: :clap:t4:

Regarding your internship, it’s normal to feel uncertain, especially when starting something new. It’s great that you got the lab work you were hoping for, but it’s also okay to feel unsure about it now that you’re actually doing it. Internships are a time to learn not just about the job, but also about what you enjoy and what you don’t.

If you’re considering taking a gap year, it’s important to weigh the pros and cons. On one hand, taking a break might give you the time you need to focus on your mental health and figure out what you truly want to pursue. It may be helpful to also honestly reflect on how likely you are to use this time productively. What is your game plan? Will you be trying different jobs to get a sense of what you like or don’t like, or will you be at home and perhaps may be at risk of repeating any unhelpful cycles?

A gap year can be great, but it also comes with a lot of personal responsibility. Assess how good you are at keeping to a plan. It’s okay if you haven’t developed those skills yet. Work with your school career counsellor to figure out what the next right step for you is.

Ultimately, prioritising your mental health is crucial. If you feel like you need a break, it’s worth seriously considering it. There are no wrong decisions when it comes to your well-being. Take things one step at a time, and try to be kind to yourself during this process.

You’re not alone in feeling this way, many youth and adults also struggle in finding the next step and it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. Whether it’s talking to a counsellor, a trusted friend, or a family member, reaching out can make a big difference. Remember, your mental health and happiness are important, and it’s okay to take the time you need to figure things out.

ITE College Central Email: whatsup@ite.edu.sg
Tel: 8182 7371 , Office hours: Mon - Fri, 8.30am - 5.30pm (excluding PH)
Office address: Student Care @ Central, Block A Level 3

ITE College East Email: dear_ce_counsellor@ite.edu.sg
Tel: 6544 9287, Office hours: Mon - Fri, 8.30am - 5.30pm (excluding PH)
Office address: Student Care Centre, Admin Block A02-02

ITE College West Email: cw.studentcare@ite.edu.sg
Tel: 6590 2628, Office hours: Mon - Fri, 8.30am - 5.30pm (excluding PH)
Office address: Student Care Centre, Block 3 Level 6

I hope the above has been helpful and if you’d like more resources or if there is anything else you’d like to share with us, please do. We’re here to listen to you, your feelings are valid and you matter! :grinning:

Take care,
Cool Breeze =)