My sister has suffered depression for a long time, she is clinically diagnosed and I do support her by studying and researching how to be helpful and supportive of her. I had made mistakes before such as triggering an episode and also learnt alot from it. But this also resulted a ■■■■ ton of emotional burnout I had suffered. She has went through alot which also resulted her struggling in school, suffering social anxiety, etc. I also found out I probably suffer from emotional enmeshment from this.
My younger sister do help me out but I also realised both of us probably suffered from it based on trying to support my sister. We also realised there is so much we can only provide to support.
I have isolated myself because of this but I also leaned onto my friends for extra support. But now I realised I have to go back to socialising with new people because I do not want to end up alone and have another disappointing school life same as poly. I neglected my own needs for so long I have a hard time trying to grasp that kind of self-independence and strength again. I want to wake up and know everything is just a bad dream.
Thank you for reaching out to share how you have been feeling, @faithfulcricket1628.
From what you have shared, I can sense how much you care for your sister. Emotional enmeshment is valid and something that often gets overlooked. The fact that you’re able to notice it’s affecting you, and that your younger sister is going through something similar, shows a lot of self-awareness from both of you.
It’s also okay to acknowledge that there is only so much the two of you can provide. Recognising that limit isn’t a failure, it’s actually an important part of protecting yourselves so you can continue to show up for her in a sustainable way.
Being able to notice and acknowledge all of this is a huge step forward. The next step can be like what you mentioned, to gradually build new connections at your own pace and work towards that self-independence again. Some small steps to consider could be reconnecting with a friend you trust for a low-pressure catch-up, setting aside a little time each day that is just for you and something you enjoy, or simply practising checking in with your own feelings before attending to others. You don’t have to do everything at once, even one small act of showing up for yourself each day adds up over time.
Lastly, I would also like to encourage you to reach out to your school counsellor to share about it so they can journey with you. Alternatively, you can also consider reaching out to Mindline @ 1771 or whatsapp to 6669 1771 for support.