This might be a long read haha so sorry. I found out my mum has been flirting with multiple guys online and I just needed to know if it was anything serious so I snooped into her phone and yep they’re 100% flirting. Even saw her type “help me run away” lol. My family situation isn’t good but my father has always been treating my mum pretty well so I’m not quite sure why she wanna run away but then again I probably just don’t know. I just feel so suffocating every time I’m around her because she’s just glued to her phone, texting him and I’m aware of that. I also found out that she has no sense of danger(?) She just casually shares locations and photos to a random stranger. RANDOM. Mind you they probably met like a few months ago? Nonetheless he’s a stranger. Idc if ya’ll met for months this is an unknown person you met ONLINE. Why am I, children, the one warning an adult about this. I just have so much on my mind and I can’t tell anyone. There’s school too and some friendship problems but that’s that. I just hate seeing the neglect my little brother is getting. Like don’t have children if you’re gonna end up being lazy and just not gaf about them. You decided on this so see through it ykwim? I just wanna run away from this place and never come back but obviously in this economy??? Where am I going lol
Hi @user0943, I’ve read through your post, and it must have been a lot for you to take in when you discovered this matter. I understand that you are at a loss of what to do, and that’s okay.
Before doing anything, you should ask yourself: what objective do you hope to achieve?
Do you want to get to the bottom of the issue and find out why your mum is flirting with others online? Or do you want your mother to give more attention to your younger brother? Or do you want to protect your mom from danger, given she has been sharing personal information with strangers online?
If you want to understand the situation better and avoid any misunderstandings, you should talk to her directly. Find a suitable time and place to tell her about how you feel about her actions without sounding aggressive. If she’s willing to share, try to honestly listen to her perspective and underlying motivations. You can also set clear boundaries on what is acceptable and not during conversations with your mom, so you won’t get hurt too. If the conversation gets heated, leave immediately as both sides will only get hurt.
You can also suggest to her about the little attention she’s giving your brother and how it is dangerous to share sensitive information to unknown strangers. It is important, though, to avoid sounding accusatory; instead, focus on how you feel about her actions.
If things don’t turn out well, please know that it’s not your fault. You can’t control how your mother reacts, so don’t put the blame onto yourself.
I can tell that this, compounded with school and friendship problems, has taken an emotional toll on you. If it feels or becomes overwhelming, please seek help from a trusted adult (a teacher or mentor) or your school counsellor. Sharing your emotions with someone you trust can help you cope with your feelings better. Alternatively, you can call up the National Mindline hotline at 1771 whenever you need someone to talk to. You’re not in this alone, okay? 
Hey @user0943. It sounds like you’re juggling so much all at once: school, friendships, worry for your brother, and now what you’ve seen with your mum. No wonder you feel like running away because it’s a lot for anyone to sit with. Feeling suffocated, frustrated, and even a bit powerless in this situation makes total sense, especially when you’re noticing risky behaviour.
The fact that you’re thinking critically about your safety and your brother’s shows how responsible and caring you are but also that you need support for yourself too.
It’s unfair that you’ve had to step into that role, and it’s okay to want relief for yourself too. You might not be able to change your mum’s choices, but you can choose ways to protect your own wellbeing like reaching out to a trusted teacher, counsellor, or safe adult to talk to about what’s happening, writing down your feelings so you’re not holding them in, or even carving out small safe spaces for yourself where you can breathe.
You’re doing your best in a situation that’s really hard. It’s okay to take moments just for yourself and to ask for support. You deserve care and peace, too 
hey @user0943,
i want to say that what you are noticing about what’s going on, and deciding to speak about it at all, is a big step. it’s a lot to write and not everyone can put these things into words, and you’ve done that well.
what you describe about your mum and knowing your little brother is being left out… it’s a huge responsibility for you and no one says that you’re supposed to be the one thinking like the adult here, and it’s okay if that feels rushed and worrying. how have you been coping with all of this? do you feel like you need someone to step in and help carry some of it right now?
i want you know that please don’t keep it to yourself. you can reach out to:
Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) – call 1767
Chat via eC2 – www.ec2.sg (for youths in Singapore who want to talk online)
National Mindline hotline at 1771
you don’t need to explain the whole story right away.. just enough so they know you need someone with you through the moment.. do make a call and let us know what’s your progress?
Hey @user0943, it sounds like you’re dealing with a lot right now, seeing your mum’s risky behaviour online, feeling frustrated about how it affects your brother, and juggling school and friendship issues on top of it all. No wonder you feel suffocated and trapped 
.
It’s not just the flirting that’s upsetting but it’s also the secrecy, the neglect, and the fact that you feel like you’re the one acting like the adult. That’s a heavy load, and it’s valid to feel angry, confused, and powerless.
Even if you can’t change her choices, you can still protect your own mental space like spend more time outside, lean on someone you trust, or do small things that give you a sense of control. You’ve shown so much maturity in looking out for your brother 
. What’s one thing you could do this week to make things feel a bit lighter for yourself?
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