I really don’t know myself anymore, I feel lost. Its like I don’t know what I want to do in life or what my purpose is. At times I even feel like a emotionless puppet without ways that it want to go, so it only move when it’s owner pull its strings l
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Dear @Wira ,
Thank you for coming here to share your feelings with us. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, I’m guessing it may feel a little lonely being in this state. It’s completely normal to feel lost and unsure about your purpose at times. It takes a lot of courage to open up about feeling lost and unsure. I’m really glad you reached out. 
You mentioned feeling like an emotionless puppet, which sounds like your nervous system might be in a freeze state. There are four main states our nervous system can be in: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. When we’re in the freeze state, we might feel numb or disconnected from our emotions and body. To help bring sensation back to your body and slowly move out of the freeze state, try these three actionable steps:
-
Deep Breathing Exercises: Practice deep, slow breathing to calm your nervous system. Focus on breathing in for a count of four, holding for four, and exhaling for four.
-
Grounding Techniques: Engage in grounding activities like walking barefoot on grass, holding a piece of ice, or focusing on the details of your surroundings to reconnect with your body and the present moment.
-
Physical Movement: Gentle physical activities like stretching, yoga, or tai chi can help release tension and bring awareness back to your body.
Together with the above-mentioned strategy, it’s also important to acknowledge your feelings. It’s okay to feel lost and unsure. Accepting these feelings is the first step towards understanding them.
Practise, self-love and kindness towards yourself. Next, try exploring your interests by engaging in different activities and hobbies to see what excites you. Sometimes, new experiences can help you discover what you enjoy and care about. Also, instead of focusing on big life decisions, set small, achievable goals daily. This can give you a sense of direction and accomplishment.
Sometimes it’s more helpful to talk to someone, like a friend, family member, or counsellor, who can provide support and new perspectives, helping you see things more clearly.
Most importantly, please be patient with yourself. It’s okay to take time to figure things out. Life is a journey, and it’s perfectly fine to explore and find your way at your own pace. Our concept of self naturally evolves as we grow and experience different things in life. It’s okay if you don’t fully know yourself at this moment; you have the opportunity to gradually take back control and shape your identity. You can learn to get back into the driver’s seat of your life and slowly mould and decide what or who you want to be. 
If you feel comfortable to share, please let us know who might be the puppet master holding on to your strings. If you could be free from this influence, what would you like to do or not do anymore? This exploration can help you gain insight into what might be holding you back and what steps you can take to reclaim your sense of autonomy and purpose.
I hope the above has been helpful and if you’d like more resources or if there is anything else you’d like to share with us, please do. We’re here to listen to you, your feelings are valid and you matter! 
Take care,
CoolBreeze =)
1 Like
(post deleted by author)
[quote=":
If you feel comfortable to share, please let us know who might be the puppet master holding on to your strings. If you could be free from this influence, what would you like to do or not do anymore? This exploration can help you gain insight into what might [quote=“CoolBreeze, post:2, topic:12830, full:true”]
Dear @Wira ,
Thank you for coming here to share your feelings with us. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, I’m guessing it may feel a little lonely being in this state. It’s completely normal to feel lost and unsure about your purpose at times. It takes a lot of courage to open up about feeling lost and unsure. I’m really glad you reached out.
You mentioned feeling like an emotionless puppet, which sounds like your nervous system might be in a freeze state. There are four main states our nervous system can be in: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. When we’re in the freeze state, we might feel numb or disconnected from our emotions and body. To help bring sensation back to your body and slowly move out of the freeze state, try these three actionable steps:
-
Deep Breathing Exercises: Practice deep, slow breathing to calm your nervous system. Focus on breathing in for a count of four, holding for four, and exhaling for four.
-
Grounding Techniques: Engage in grounding activities like walking barefoot on grass, holding a piece of ice, or focusing on the details of your surroundings to reconnect with your body and the present moment.
-
Physical Movement: Gentle physical activities like stretching, yoga, or tai chi can help release tension and bring awareness back to your body.
Together with the above-mentioned strategy, it’s also important to acknowledge your feelings. It’s okay to feel lost and unsure. Accepting these feelings is the first step towards understanding them.
Practise, self-love and kindness towards yourself. Next, try exploring your interests by engaging in different activities and hobbies to see what excites you. Sometimes, new experiences can help you discover what you enjoy and care about. Also, instead of focusing on big life decisions, set small, achievable goals daily. This can give you a sense of direction and accomplishment.
Sometimes it’s more helpful to talk to someone, like a friend, family member, or counsellor, who can provide support and new perspectives, helping you see things more clearly.
Most importantly, please be patient with yourself. It’s okay to take time to figure things out. Life is a journey, and it’s perfectly fine to explore and find your way at your own pace. Our concept of self naturally evolves as we grow and experience different things in life. It’s okay if you don’t fully know yourself at this moment; you have the opportunity to gradually take back control and shape your identity. You can learn to get back into the driver’s seat of your life and slowly mould and decide what or who you want to be.
If you feel comfortable to share, please let us know who might be the puppet master holding on to your strings. If you could be free from this influence, what would you like to do or not do anymore? This exploration can help you gain insight into what might be holding you back and what steps you can take to reclaim your sense of autonomy and purpose.
I hope the above has been helpful and if you’d like more resources or if there is anything else you’d like to share with us, please do. We’re here to listen to you, your feelings are valid and you matter!
Take care,
CoolBreeze =)
[/quote]
The puppet masters who’s kinda holding onto my strings are some of my family members who treated me and some of my other family members as if we’re their paid maid and babysitter(we’re not being paid by them) and because I feel guilty watching my older family members do it(cleaning after them and stuff) I ended up doing most of the things even though I already told them we are not their maid and babysitter, they just won’t listen
1 Like
Dear @Wira ,
Thank you for replying and sharing this with us. I can only imagine how challenging it must be for you. It’s really tough when family dynamics create situations where responsibilities aren’t shared equally, and some members feel unfairly burdened. It’s important to remember that individuating from your family of origin can feel uncomfortable, and it’s okay to assert your own needs and boundaries for your wellbeing.
Respecting self-set boundaries is crucial for healthy relationships and personal well-being. Boundaries define where you end and others begin, helping to establish limits that protect your physical, emotional, and mental health. When you respect your own boundaries and those of others, you establish clear expectations and foster mutual respect, which strengthens trust and communication in relationships. It empowers you to honour your needs and priorities without feeling guilty or overwhelmed, reducing stress and maintaining a healthier balance in life.
Asserting your boundaries builds self-confidence and improves self-esteem, as you learn to advocate for yourself in a respectful manner. This approach also helps navigate conflicts effectively and maintain emotional stability, promoting healthier interactions and contributing to a more fulfilling life where you can achieve greater joy and satisfaction.
While it’s wonderful that you help out of kindness, it’s important to recognise that if you don’t respect your own boundaries, you might end up feeling burnt out or numb as you have shared. Accepting the family situation as it is and realising that you can only control your own behaviour and emotions is key.
I hope you’ll give yourself the permission, to not be responsible for other people’s emotions, even if they are older than you. It’s okay to have empathy, but respecting your own needs and boundaries will allow you to approach things differently and find joy in your life in the long run. Perhaps in seeing your courage, they may learn that it’s also okay for them to hold better boundaries.
I hope the above has been helpful and if you’d like more resources or if there is anything else you’d like to share with us, please do. We’re here to listen to you, your feelings are valid and you matter!
Take care,
CoolBreeze =)
1 Like
Tell us more? I can understand how frustrating it can be when you don’t feel that you’re in control of your own life. There have been times where I felt very helpless as well but it’ll pass, I hope it’s the same for you too.