I procrastinate a lot. I feel disgusted with myself when I do that. I HATE being told what to do and I don’t like being given deadlines. I feel like rebel but I feel disgusted and shameful of myself.
Hey, thank you for sharing. That makes a lot of sense, honestly. It sounds like you’re caught between two parts of yourself, one that really hates being controlled or boxed in, and another that feels angry and ashamed when things don’t get done. That’s a tough place to be.
I hear how strong that disgust and shame feel, and I want to say this gently: struggling with procrastination doesn’t mean you’re lazy or broken. It often shows up when someone values freedom and choice, and deadlines feel more like pressure than support. That “rebel” side of you isn’t bad, it’s probably trying to protect your independence.
What hurts is how hard you are on yourself afterward. Carrying that kind of self-hate is really heavy, and you don’t deserve that. You’re not failing as a person, ure dealing with an internal conflict that a lot of people quietly struggle with.
You don’t have to fix this all at once. For now, it’s okay just to acknowledge that this is hard, and that you’re trying. If you care to share more about some situations that make you feel this way, I am here to listen.
I hear how conflicted this feels. On one hand, there’s a strong pushback against being told what to do and deadlines. On the other, there’s a lot of disgust and shame when procrastination shows up.
That tug-of-war matters suggests this is about something in you reacting to control and then turning the frustration inward when it costs you.
For now, it might help just to pause the self-judgment and notice gently: when you procrastinate, does it feel more like resisting pressure, or like punishing yourself after? If you are listening to yourself, noticing that can start to loosen the pattern a little.