I feel like I have never really had a sense of who I was. Even if I had a semblance of that idea, it always felt like it was in relation to others.
For example, when I am reading a book, I might absorb or mirror the character of a book or constantly think about it’s themes and such. Sometimes, they may tamper with the way I feel, the way I think and the way I react. It’s like I’m too easily influenced by things and I’m scared of myself. I know what is right and what is wrong on a surface-level, but if you’d ask me deep down, I do not really believe in anything. I can be easily overidden and easily changed into someone whom I might not like but someone whom I’ll change to nonetheless.
It’s genuinely so scary I think there’s something wrong with me
Thanks for opening up — that must’ve taken a lot of courage. What you described — that deep fear of not knowing who you truly are, or feeling like you change too easily depending on what you’re reading or who you’re with — that’s something more people feel than you might think, but very few talk about.
It sounds like your mind is super sensitive and reflective — like a mirror that catches everything around it. And that can feel scary, like you’re always absorbing but never quite becoming. That fear you feel? It makes so much sense if you’ve never had the space or support to explore your own voice, your own rhythm.
What if — instead of trying to know who you are all at once — you began noticing the little moments where you feel most like you? Maybe it’s a certain way you laugh, or how you feel when you’re alone and not being pulled by anyone else’s energy. That could be your starting point.
There’s nothing “wrong” with you. You’re not broken. You’re becoming. And I hope you give yourself a chance to become at your own pace.
If it helps, I’d love to walk through this with you — what scares you most about being easily influenced? When do you feel most grounded? Let’s start there?
Like what @FuYuan_Affections mentioned earlier, you are so so brave for even thinking about this, admitting it and sharing it with us on Let’s Talk. People often think they have their whole life together, but the truth is, not all of us have reached that point in life where we are 100% sure that who we are is our true and real identity and we feel secure in it. So do not worry and fear if you feel that you do not have your whole life and identity together , this is all normal and a part of growing and changing as humans !!
Another piece of advice would be to constantly reflect. One question to ask yourself would be “Am I happy? Do I feel at peace? Does this resonate with me?”. And if you do certain things, answer any of these questions, then perhaps that could be a start to figuring out your identity and values in general.
Thank you for opening up with such honesty. What you’re describing isn’t just deeply human, it’s more common than you might think. Feeling shaped by the things we read, the people around us, or even the ideas we encounter can feel disorienting, especially when it blurs the sense of who we are beneath it all. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. On the contrary, it shows a kind of sensitivity and openness to the world, that people may try to bury.
But I hear you! When that openness starts to feel like losing yourself, it can be scary and overwhelming. Not having a firm anchor of belief or identity doesn’t mean you’re broken. It might mean you’re still evolving, still discovering what resonates with you at a deeper level, and that process isn’t linear or simple. Instead as someone who is easily overwritten, maybe think of yourself as someone with a wide emotional range and curiosity, someone still experimenting with what fits. That can be a strength, even if it feels unstable right now. The fact that you’re reflecting on this at all means you’re already seeking something more real and rooted. That’s not weakness, @okay,that’s courage!
Best regards, HanSolo2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing this fear you have on the platform. It’s not easy to be so vulnerable and it really takes a lot of courage.
From what you’ve mentioned, it sounds like you may be feeling lost and confused on who you are. And that’s ok! Sometimes we need time to find ourselves. One thing that works for me in the past whenever I felt lost was to practice mindfulness, and be aware of my own feelings at the present moment that I would usually not be aware of everyday. Slowing down and noticing these small things, like what I’m feeling when I’m on the train for instance helped me to better understand myself. Additionally, constant reflection also helped me to be more aware of who I was, what I liked and disliked, and what my values were. It made me more aware of my inner voice that I usually do not notice. Would you be open to trying these out?
Being lost and confused can happen to all of us, and there is nothing wrong with you! All you need is time to find yourself And also know that we are here for you if you need any more help
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, this is all normal and a part of growing and changing as humans 
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