i need help and advice

[user705667]

hi, I honestly don’t know what to do anymore, please help!

so I used to have 2 friends from last year, I’ll name them A and B. So I was really close to B, she vented her crushes and confessions to me, and we got close then. Then, B introduced me to A. We were friends quite quickly after, but then they started asking me for favours like paying for their food or helping B buy stuff online (she couldn’t get a credit card from her parents, or at least that was what I was told). i was fine with it at first. B does pay me money back. But A dosent when I buy her food. it’s like my money isn’t important to pay back for. Of course I didn’t ask, hoping she would take initiative and pay me back. But until now, she didn’t, so I let it go. They both were practically soulmates, liking the exact same stuff. Somewhere near October or November, they started distancing themselves from me, yet still asked me for favours. Before that, I sent B a birthday letter, so I thought I may have wrote something that somehow made them distance themselves from me, though I was careful on what I wrote. During exam period last year in November, I was practically left out during lunch and recess. I didn’t eat at all for the whole day at school. I had a fear of being left out, and hated eating alone. that’s why I didn’t eat. And I lost weight that time. I was nearly underweight when I last measured. That November, A and B got closer to another girl, C. Since then, they subtly excluded me, and that basically made me a replacement, as C practically replaced me. Before that, B told A and A told me that they didn’t want to be a trio with me. I was hurt. We went out before, and had a lot of fun. Now, they are a trip with C. They sat together, during recess and lunch, while I sat quietly beside them. They didn’t strike conversations with me, and C kept having their attention, yapping a lot. C is pretty, I’m not. And that made me insecure about myself. I had always been insecure about my face and body hair, and it really took a toll on me, to the point I had almost no feelings to even go to school, but I had studies to finish, so I still went. I have a few friends there that isn’t from my class, so you could imagine I rarely could talk to them. Also, I only got into Alien Stage because A and B both liked it, so I got into it so they would talk to me more, but that worked only for a bit. That wasn’t result I wanted. I enjoyed conversations, not being left out and excluded. For my birthday last year, A gave me a bracelet and a handwritten note. I was happy to receive the note. She even drew on it. But today, just a few hours ago, I realized the bracelet wasn’t new. it had rusted. i was upset, but of course I had to be grateful, but I had bought many stuff for A and yet, she didn’t put effort to give me a proper bracelet or even hang out with me. I don’t even need actual gifts. I just wanted conversations and hang outs between us. But she gave me a rusty bracelet. it really shows how she feels for me. Just last week, A told me we could go hangout at a mall on Monday, which was yesterday. But yesterday after school, I texted her if she wanted to go or not, but she said “im broke” so I assumed then she did not have money, so she couldn’t go. But I accompanied her the week before to the same mall even though I had no money so she could buy stuff. Then, that evening, she posted a picture on her whatsapp status, that was a haul pic. A went out with another friend, though Im not sure if she went with B or not, but she definitely went out with someone. She bought a few blindboxes, and they are pretty expensive. That was when I realized she stood me up, told me she’s broke as a stupid reason so she could go out with another friend. She does have money. And honestly, I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to tell a school counselor because it would really mess my relationship with them, and I don’t want to get in trouble with them too. What do I do?

[here2hear]

Thank you for sharing and reaching out. I’m so sorry you’ve been carrying all of this alone and what you described is genuinely painful, and it makes sense that you feel lost right now.

From what you’ve shared, this seems more than just “friend drama” as you were used, excluded, and repeatedly hurt, and none of that is your fault. You showed kindness, loyalty, and effort by paying for things, listening, adjusting your interests, showing up even when you had nothing… And instead of being met with care, you were slowly pushed aside. Anyone in your position would feel insecure, exhausted, and deeply hurt.

Here are a few things I want you to hear clearly:

• Their behavior says everything about them and not your worth alrights? Being excluded, stood up, or given a rusty bracelet does not mean you are “less than.” It means they didn’t treat you with the respect you deserved.

• You are not wrong for wanting conversation, effort, and inclusion as those are basic needs in a friendship, not too much to ask for.

• You didn’t deserve to starve yourself or feel invisible just to belong. That part really saddens me as your well-being matters more than any friendship.

Maybe here are some tips that might be useful for you:

1. Stop doing favors for A and B. No more paying, accompanying, or adjusting yourself for them. Not as punishment but as self-protection.

2. Create emotional distance, even if it’s quiet. You don’t need a confrontation if it feels unsafe. You’re allowed to step back without explaining.

3. Lean into the friends who don’t make you feel small, even if they’re not in your class. One genuine connection is worth more than sitting beside people who ignore you.

4. Please prioritize eating and caring for your body. Skipping meals because of fear or exclusion is a sign you’re hurting deeply.

5. About the counselor: you don’t have to frame it as “reporting them.” You can say you’re struggling emotionally and feeling isolated. Counselors are there to support you, not to get you in trouble.

Lastly, your insecurities about your looks, body hair, or being “replaceable” were made louder by how they treated you. But they are not truths. You sound thoughtful, loyal, and emotionally aware and those are rare qualities, and the right people will cherish them.

You’re not weak for feeling this way. We are here for you!!

[FuYuan_Affections]

Hey @user705667,

What stood out wasn’t jealousy or drama, it was how much you kept giving, even when you were slowly being moved to the side.

You paid for food. You helped with purchases. You adjusted your interests. You stayed seated with them even when conversations stopped coming your way. And when things felt off, you didn’t get angry, you turned it inward and wondered what you did wrong.

That’s heavy to carry.

Reading about November not eating the whole school day because eating alone felt unbearable and that part matters. Not as a “problem label,” but because it shows how deeply this affected your body, not just your thoughts.

There’s a pattern here that’s worth naming gently: they still asked for your help,
but stopped offering time, effort, or honesty in return.

The bracelet, the cancelled plan, the “I’m broke” message followed by a haul photo, it makes sense that those moments landed hard. They weren’t just small things. They confirmed something you were already sensing but didn’t want to believe.

I want to pause on one thing, carefully: this doesn’t read like you being “unlikable.”
It reads like you staying in a friendship that had quietly become unequal.

Two gentle questions here:

• when you imagine not paying, not accompanying, not adjusting yourself, what comes up first? fear? guilt? relief?
• if a friend told you this same story, would you tell them to keep trying, or to protect themselves?

For now, A first step can simply be stepping back from favours and noticing what happens when you stop over-giving. Real friendships usually don’t collapse just because one person stops paying or chasing.

And if skipping meals or feeling numb about school starts happening again, that’s a sign you deserve support, not because you’re in trouble, but because this is a lot for one person to hold alone.

You’re allowed to want conversations, effort, and honesty. You’re not wrong for wanting that and you’re not obligated to earn it by shrinking yourself. We can take this one step at a time.