I really wish I couldn’t exist anymore. Like i was erased from this place. Everything i do, everywhere i go, i just bothers anyone. No one want or care about me, they all just leave me. I am failing uni and i can’t even end it cuz it will cause so many problems for everyone. It frustrates so much, i wanna die everyday but i can’t. Every attempts i did bothers people.
It feels like you have been carrying this for a while. Not just a bad day, but something that has been building until it starts to feel like your presence itself is the problem.
And I want to say this clearly to you. The idea that you are “bothering everyone” feels very real inside, but it is not the full truth of what is happening. When things get this heavy, the mind narrows and starts treating every reaction from others as confirmation that you are unwanted. But there are people who can sit with you, listen, and take you seriously, even if it does not feel like that right now.
It also sounds like you have been trying to hold a lot on your own. Failing uni, people leaving, attempts that did not go the way you expected, and then being stuck in between wanting relief and feeling like you “cannot” act on it because it will affect others. That kind of pressure can wear anyone down.
When the weight goes on for this long, it is quite human that the mind starts looking for a way out quickly. Not because you actually want to disappear, but because you want the pain and the stuckness to stop. That part makes sense.
And at the same time, the situation you are in now, even if it feels closed off, is not final. When everything feels blocked, it often just means the way out has not been seen yet, not that it does not exist.
For now, the first step is making sure you are not holding this alone in the moments it gets too intense. If it spikes, you can reach:
- SOS: 1767
- National Mindline: 1771
- Or chat: Mental Health Helplines & Counselling Services in Singapore | mindline.sg
You have been standing in something heavy for a long time. It makes sense you are tired and looking for a way out. Maybe for now, we just keep you steady through this part first, then slowly find what has not been visible yet.
Hello @adaptableseahorse8902, thank you for sharing with us your thoughts. I hear how frustrated you must feel right now, with all these worries about uni and life in general. And it must be even more tiring being worried about bothering others. Though it’s natural to feel concerned about others, I hope you can see that your life is not a bother to those around you. It sounds like you’ve been holding such heavy thoughts to yourself for awhile already and it must be very overwhelming to constantly wish to be gone from here. I can only imagine how isolating it must be to feel this daily. However, I want to let you know that you’re not alone and there are people there who will listen and care for you, even if you’re scared of worrying or “bothering” them. And you’ve mentioned that you’re bothering them or that they will leave you, but I wonder what caused you to believe in this? Is there any chance that this may not be how they feel about this? Just wondering because I want to know more about your worries.
And I don’t know how uni is for you now but as someone who have experienced uni struggles, I really understand how stressful and overwhelming and intense it can be. But at the end of the day (or the trimester/sem, or the acad year), there is a world beyond uni and we need you here to experience it too. I wish you all the best with your uni journey! It can be a very challenging time and I understand that, so I’m sending all my well wishes to you!
If it ever gets too much and you just need someone to talk to, even just for a moment, to remind yourself of your worth, remember there are outlets such as the SOS hotline (1767) or national mindline (1771). this platform (let’s talk) is also always here for you if you need to air out your frustrations.
Although I don’t know you personally, I believe that you are still someone who deserves care in this world. Take care and all the best in everything! I hope you know you don’t need to hold onto such heavy thoughts all by yourself anymore.
It sounds like you’re feeling deeply overwhelmed, alone, and exhausted by how painful everything has become.
You’re carrying a lot with you, worries about uni, others, and the impact of your pain, and it sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot of this on your own.
When things like this build up like this, and it feels like there is no way out, it makes sense that everything can start to feel hopeless and unbearable.
I’m really glad you shared this here. You matter and what you’re carrying matters. Even if disappearing feels like the only way to escape this pain right now, I want you to know it’s not. You deserve support and a way through this that does leave you carrying this alone.
Are you safe right now?
It may not feel possible right now, but this pain does not have to stay this intense forever.
Do you want to say a bit more about what’s been the heaviest lately?
If these feelings stay heavy or become intense, there are supports out there that can help, like SOS (1767) and National Mindline (1771).