i married two and half month ago.and my husband goes out of country after one month.now i’m living with my in laws.they are all good.there is no work pressure or any other specific toxic behavior towads me.but i still feel alone.my try to give me time as much he can.but due to busy life there .i dont feel that time enough .i’m thinking about him constantly.i feel like i am just lost my self in every point.i am well educated and want to do something to become finencially indepented .but i feel every thing impossible.I thoughgt that if i starts working for me i will goes away from him.or i feeling like i just can’t explain everything here.i dont know what to do.how to start to be productive.or how i can be more practical rather than just being emotional.my brain want to be a practical my heart wants to be a loving wife.i just dont know what to do how to do.i just feel confused ,fatiuge ,stressed ,lazy and empty inside.
hey @adaptedgarden1760,
It sounds like you’re being pulled in two directions, and whichever side you lean towards, it feels like you might lose something important.
Right now, it seems like you’re holding on strongly to your connection with your husband, especially since everything else around you has changed quite quickly. That’s probably why your thoughts keep going back to him.
At the same time, adjusting to a new phase of life takes time. So when you think about working or doing something for yourself, it may feel unfamiliar or even uncomfortable, rather than something positive.
That’s where the confusion can come in.
If it helps, you might look at these two things separately:
Being a loving wife doesn’t mean you have to think about him all the time.
Being independent doesn’t mean you are moving away from him.
They can exist together, even if it doesn’t feel that way yet.
Instead of trying to figure everything out at once, you could start small. Just having one part of your day that is for yourself, even 30 to 60 minutes, can be a starting point.
If you’re open to reflecting on this: When you think about doing something for yourself, does it feel like you are leaving him behind, or becoming someone who can stand more steadily on your own?
A lot has changed in a short time. There’s no rush, it may be enough to take things one step at a time and let both sides settle gradually.
I understand the point that I can focus on my identity as well.I also want this but I just not able to do anything.I always lost in my thinking whenever I sit to do something.I’m constantly think about him.Even my husband become irritate from my nagging behavior.but I just feel myselfi uncontrolled.I understand everything.Every aspect of life.but what makes me worried about me is why i dont do any to make better decision.I just don’t understand me.I knew everything yet I don’t do anything.I feel my self just stucked.Everything is okay but nothing feels good.I even some times think about suicide due to lack of attention from him.