Lost the spark in life

Ask a Therapist Seeking Help
1

I’m in my late 20s and I just feel like there isn’t any purpose or meaning in living… it’s not like I’m suicidal or anything. But it’s that lack of motivation in life. I quit my job after 5 years because I couldn’t take it anymore. Lost 2 valuable family members in the span of 2 years… and nobody seems to understand what am I going through…. I’m still living with my mom but it’s hard to connect with her emotionally… it’s tiring because I’m a complete introvert and she’s an extrovert…I know she loves me and she will do everything for me…but i don’t know why I just feel empty sometimes ? I tried communicating with her but we just don’t see eye to eye….. yikes:(

I’ve been jobless for about 5 months now and I don’t have the urge to even look for a job or find a hobby. I used to love the arts but even now when I try I’ll just stop after 1 attempt and that’s it….

I always hear “ find something meaningful to do” , “don’t waste precious time” …. “Go look for a job “… “go socialise more “ But……

I don’t know what to do I’ve lost the spark …..

2

Hey @user5152. Thank you for opening up and sharing such a heartfelt post. I can really hear the burnout and emptiness in your words because you’ve been carrying a lot like the loss of loved ones, leaving a long-term job, and feeling misunderstood and disconnected at home. That’s a lot of change and grief to hold all at once, and it makes complete sense that you’d feel the way you do.

What stands out to me, though, is that despite feeling lost, you’re still showing self-awareness and care by reaching out and reflecting on what’s happening. That’s a quiet kind of strength that deserves to be seen.

Sometimes, people expect us to “bounce back” or “find meaning” quickly, but healing often moves at its own slow, quiet pace. Maybe right now, the kindest thing you can do for yourself is simply to rest and allow yourself to be where you are without judgement and nurture yourself back one small step at a time.

You mentioned that you love the arts. You tried, but stopped after one attempt. But hey you still tried. That still matters. Even showing up once takes courage, especially when your spark feels dim. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just real, okie?

Sending you warmth as you navigate this gentle path back to yourself. You’re not alone, and your feelings are valid. One moment, one breath, one small act of care at a time, okie :sunflower:

2 Likes
3

Hey user5152

Thanks for taking the time to write and my sincere condolences for the loss of your loved ones. It definitely feels like a quiet cry under all the noise of expectations. The emptiness you described… not just about the job or time passing, but the way burnout strips colour from everything and when you add grief on top of that, it’s like the silence inside becomes deafening.

The people you lost, they probably once filled those quiet spaces with laughter, small habits, maybe just presence. Losing them leaves a gap that nothing quite fits into. But grief doesn’t have to mean shutting down or being solemn all the time. Sometimes remembering the silly, joyful, or tender moments with them, even out loud, can soften that ache. It’s a way of saying, thank you for what you gave me, and in that gratitude, a little warmth sneaks back in.

You also mentioned how hard it is to connect with your mum, introvert versus extrovert, two very different worlds. But connection isn’t about matching energy levels; it’s about hearts meeting somewhere real. Maybe some steps to make connection work, for you to consider if you don’t mind my offerings.

  1. Notice your emotion if you are glad, sad, mad, or scared.
  2. Ask what your mind is saying about it, “am I feeling judged, or am I judging myself?”
  3. Let yourself name it gently when you talk to her, even if it’s just “I miss feeling close to you.”
  4. And together, try to talk about those unspoken rules or expectations, not to solve anything, but to understand what’s sitting between you.

The way you describe being tired of everyone telling you what to do, that’s another layer of burnout talking. When you’ve given for years, and suddenly nothing gives back, it’s normal to want to retreat. What your body and heart might be asking for isn’t more doing, but more being… seen, held and allowed to rest.

For now, maybe the goal isn’t to find meaning but to allow moments of life to find you again. A memory, song or one small act of care and if this emptiness ever grows heavier or starts to feel unsafe, please feel free to write it here. Where grief, rest, and your quiet longing for connection can breathe a little, until that spark begins to flicker again.

1 Like
4

Hey OP,

I’ve been there. I’ve questioned about whether it’s still worth to keep going or not in my life. Even on medications, I still have those thoughts of “is it even worth to invest so much time in living anymore?” And I can imagine it’s even harder when you don’t have anyone who can understand what you’re going through.

We wish that we could pick ourselves just with a click of our finger, but it’s not that simple. It can take days, weeks, or even months. There’s a lot of introspection and feeling our emotions to get through those tough times.

Whenever I’m not feeling the best, I lower my expectations. I don’t need to do something productive; I don’t need to be a “functioning human being.” If I can just meet the bare minimum of waking up the next day, then that’s all I need. I also try to find something nice to see or do. I’d look at the sky and think, “it’s a really nice blue today.” I’d think of the kwetiau that I’d get to eat for tomorrow’s breakfast. Maybe if I’m lucky, the cat near my HBD would come to visit and I’d come over and sit with it.

It’s these little bits of happiness that makes me go, “hmm…maybe life is not so bad.” And I hope you find it, too. Take your time, and I wish you the best on your journey :heart:

2 Likes