I’m a uni student year 3. I’ve been facing anxiety for many years now. I’ve spend much of primary and secondary school studying because my parents wanted me to. I’ve spent so much time studying that I broke down crying several times because of how difficult it was to study. I constantly went for tuition for every subject, so I had little time for anything other than CCA. I have difficulty talking to people, and always have trouble remembering things about people. Because of this, I don’t have any friends. I have no people who I feel comfortable to talk about this to. No one to talk about my interests to. I don’t want to be alone. I know friendship takes time, but the stress of studying and finding and keeping a job makes me think I will never have any time for friends, not without sacrificing something, be it my performance in work/study or just destroy myself from stretching myself. I talked to so many therapists, so many councilors. I been losing my will to go on, to get out of bed. If my parents don’t buy food, I probably wouldn’t even eat anything because of how much effort it is. I don’t know what to live for, why should I live if my life is just gonna be so lifeless. I sometimes want to die, hoping to start over again. I just want someone to help, but I don’t know how they can help or who to turn to.
hi there
your whole message feels like you’ve been carrying this for too long, and no one’s really stayed long enough to hold it with you.
you didn’t just study hard, you sacrificed yourself to meet someone else’s standard. and now it feels like the cost is your life, your energy, your connections.
the part where you said “i sometimes want to die, hoping to start over again”, that doesn’t sound like a wish to disappear. it sounds like you want a reset. becuase it doesn’t fit you.
you mentioned you’ve seen so many therapists. i wonder — did any of them actually see you? somone who was just never allowed to rest.
can i ask, when you said you have no one to talk to about your interests, what are those things that quietly matter to you? just one. let’s start from there.
Hey @user8685. It’s so incredibly brave to put this all into words, and not because you’re “supposed to be strong”, but because you’ve spent so long just holding everything in. No wonder everything feels heavy now.
The loneliness, the burnout, the longing to connect… none of these make you broken. They make you deeply human in a system that often forgets what it means to care for people from the inside out.
You wrote, "I don’t know what to live for, why should I live if my is just gonna be so lifeless?" That kind of honestly holds so much pain… but also, strangely, so much clarity. There’s still something in you who still wants to live. You came here. You wrote all this. You’re reaching out, showing up, and that matters, more than you know.
You matter.
Sometimes when life has been shaped so much by survival, it becomes hard to imagine what living could look like. I wonder… if you weren’t trying to survive for everyone else’s expectations, what would rest or comfort or even joy look like for you?
No pressure to have the answers right now. Maybe we just start really small.
You’re not alone here, okay? I’m really glad you wrote in.
Sending you so much love and care 
Hey, this is something a lot of ppl in sg go through. We were taught to concentrate on studies n job all the time n never lived a life. U r allowed to relax. U r allowed to hang out w frens or make frens, find a relationship, try out pottery classes, pursue ur interests and have a life outside of that. I didnt allow myself to pursue music n i was just zombieing in the working world without a direction. I can be frens if u r open to be frens
Hi @user8685 / OP,
It sounds like you’ve been carrying a heavy weight for a long time, one built from years of relentless expectations and emotional isolation. You were thrust into a life that revolved around constant studying - not for your own curiosity or growth, but out of pressure from others - and that sense of duty slowly chipped away at your joy and your sense of self. And now, even as you’ve tried to find relief through therapy and counseling, that loneliness remains. The feeling of having no one to share your interests or emotions with - it’s deeply painful, and it makes the everyday feel empty and exhausting. It makes sense that your body and mind are responding with fatigue, sadness, and confusion about what you’re even striving toward.
What’s also coming through is how deeply you long to feel connected - to be seen and understood, without feeling like you have to give up parts of yourself just to keep up. You’re not asking for much, really - just a space to feel alive again, to not have to fight so hard for every bit of comfort. And it’s okay to not have all the answers right now. You’ve been trying, more than most people realize. That strength isn’t gone - it’s just buried under layers of exhaustion and silence that you never asked for. Maybe the first step isn’t about finding the perfect help, but about allowing yourself to speak without performance, even when it feels messy. I’m here with you in this moment, and I want you to know: you’re not a burden for feeling this way. You’re someone who’s endured more than you should have, and you deserve to be heard.
Best regards,
Han_Solo_2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline
Hey there @user8685 ,
Thank you for sharing so openly and vulnerably. It takes real courage to express what you’re going through, and I want you to know that your honesty is both seen and valued. I can feel how exhausted you are from these repeating cycles, and how the loss of direction and purpose is weighing on you. I hope you’re taking care of yourself during this difficult time?
I want you to know that feeling lost is totally okay, and you absolutely matter. Out of billions of people on this planet, there is only one you with your unique combination of qualities, experiences, and perspectives. That alone is extraordinary, no?
When we feel disconnected from our path and can’t see what’s ahead, it can help to return to what feels most natural to us. What activities make you lose track of time? What topics or causes stir something deep within you? These gentle questions might help you with your current situation, of course they aren’t meant to pressure you toward immediate answers, but rather to plant seeds that might grow into clarity over time
Not having a clear sense of purpose doesn’t make you unusual or behind in life at all too, in fact many people navigate this uncertainty as well so you are not alone yeah?
The fact that you’re actively seeking support already shows incredible self-awareness and strength, and I must applaud you for that!
You might find that purpose emerges not from a single moment of revelation, but from small, brave steps taken in the direction of what feels meaningful to you. Of course, no rush, no right, no wrong, just what works for you yeah~
You are greatly cherished and wonderfully made in your own unique way, see the flicker of light in yourself and slowly you will find your way back again. Don’t be too hard on yourself, take care, and remember it’s ok to feel this way💙
Many hugs
I like romantic stories, like romance mangas. They make me feel happy. Reading about the happiness of others, fake or real make me feel like I’m experiencing the same joy they feel.
Hi, I don’t mind being friends with you. Or at least trying.
Hey @user8685. I hear how difficult things can be for you right now, whether it is your school work, the job market, and perhaps more importantly for you, friendship. I also hear your frustration with regards to therapy and counselling, that despite your attempts to reach out for help, they dont seem to be working… I also hear the helplessness you feel about life, so much so that you sometimes think it is pointless to live if it is so lifeless.
But dear, you aren’t alone in this, and the fact that even in this trying time of immense stress and loneliness, you still managed to find multiple channels of support (therapy/counsellor/ mindline letstalk) is impressive. It shows that deep down, you are strong and resilient.
I can be here to lend a listening ear. I might not be there physically to support you, but through this online space, I will do my best to be your best friend. Would you like to talk through anything that is on your mind right now? Or would you want to talk through what triggers those thoughts about life not worth living for?
Remember I’m here with you and you dont have to handle all of these emotions. 
U wanna chat here or dm? Whats ur course n whats ur hobbies