My parents start to cut the electricity bill … don’t let use bedroom aircon, during this humid weather, and also don’t wash my plates, just because I lost my full-time job and was unable to give them pocket money…?

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
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this is making me upset… how can I cope and overcome this

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Dear @user7096

Thank you for writing in to share about the situation at home. It is understandably stressful that you have lost your full time job. I can sense your worry and anxiety about the loss. The impact of the loss of the job is you are not able to give pocket money to your parents. Your parents have reacted to this by cutting down household expenses. They have not been allowing you to turn on aircon to cut electricity charges. Also their solution to reduce water bill is not to wash your plate. I fully get that you are affected by their actions ; especially sleeping without aircon disrupts your sleep.

Do consider speaking with them and explain how you have been affected. Negotiate calmly and assure them that you are actively searching tor jobs and the current job situation is temporary. Share, too, that getting a good night’s sleep facilitates you to do well at interviews. As for washing plates used at mealtimes, can suggest to parents whether using disposable plates and cutlery is a more hygienic alternative to save water costs?

Brainstorm as a family other areas to cut unnecessary expenses that do not affect everyone’s quality of life unduly. Discuss in a calm and non judgmental manner staying respectful but firm on communicating your needs. Stay flexible, too, to adjust where needed.

Keep reaching out here when needed, too. :yellow_heart:

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Hey @user7096 ,

Thank you for sharing your struggles. It must not have been easy to go through this with your parents after the your job loss.

I think what would be good is to sit down with your family and talk to them about it. Let them know how their action makes you feel, but also try to understand why they’re doing these actions as well. And from there, try to reach a compromise between your parents and you. Sometimes, open communication and discussions can help make you understand and learn things that we never know or thought of. Would you be open to trying this?

Stay strong and hang in there :flexed_biceps:

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Dear @user5770 and user@4679

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I understand that parts of my earlier reply didn’t quite land as intended, and I deeply appreciate you taking the time and effort to communicate your feedback and views in an open and respectful manner. I’m learning from this and will continue listening closely, with care, warmth and respect. Thank you for contributing.

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Sorry that u got such treatment. Mine also v stingy, tho he dun stop us from using aircon everytime nag, and have had much conflicts - he keep harping i dun give him money. Becos he only buy 4d, then act poor