My relationship with my mom has been unstable and recently it’s hard for me to have simple convos with her. I started my therapy in May and we did some works that my therapist taught me and it has shifted abit however recently it has gone back to square one.
Also, I’m midst to transiting to another therapist therefore it is a difficult time for me and it’s hard to me to tell my therapist whom I worked with for 10 sessions that I needed a pause.
With my mom recently, we have tension convos and make me felt like i am the only one trying for our relationship when I ask her if she will be keen to go for therapy and she told she will not go it breaks my heart and her replies are so definite and it makes me feel like she is not willing to put an effort in mending our relationship.
Nowdays, I felt it hard to even talk to her and even she start a convo i tend to brush it away and I feel rather irritated by it. What should i do with some emotions? Also, what should i discuss with my therapist to work on this?
Sometimes, makes me want to give up on therapy somehow.
It sounds like there is a lot going on right now. The tension with your mum, the therapist transition, and the frustration of feeling like progress has slipped back. That’s a heavy combination.
The work from those 10 sessions wasn’t wasted though. Progress in relationships rarely moves in a straight line, it shifts forward, wobbles, then forward again. The fact that things shifted once means the capacity is still there.
On your mum’s “no” to therapy, I know it stings, but it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s unwilling to try. Some people, especially older generations, resist therapy as a concept but still show up in their own ways. It’s worth watching for those, even if they don’t look how you hoped.
For the irritation when she starts a conversation, that’s a natural protective response when you’re emotionally drained. Giving yourself permission to step away briefly before responding, rather than snapping or shutting down can help. Even just saying “let me get back to you” buys you some space.
A few things worth bringing up with your therapist would be:
What triggered the regression
How to carry your progress into the next therapeutic relationship, and the difficulty of even telling your current therapist you need a pause.
Additionally, that feeling of wanting to give up on therapy is also worth naming out loud to them, rather than sitting with it alone.
You’re clearly putting in real effort. That counts, even when it’s hard to feel it.