after living with someone i have deep feelings and affections. now we are not living under the same roof. i still think about her. she was in my dream last night. i just cannot stop thinking about her. its driving me crazy. i feel something is really wrong with me. she doesnt feel the same way i feel. i do know that and i tried my very best to keep myself busy. i saw her at her house yesterday we talked abt different things. i really do miss being around her. after playing softball today i still think abt her. its driving me crazy!
Hey @user0885,
Sounds like your heart’s been carrying a lot lately. That kind of pain—the kind that lingers after someone you cared so deeply for is no longer in your daily life—can feel unbearable sometimes. Missing her, dreaming about her, thinking of her even after softball… it’s not weird or wrong. It just shows how deeply you felt for her.
You said, “it’s driving me crazy” and “something is really wrong with me”—and I just want to say gently, feeling like this after such a strong connection isn’t madness, it’s grief. You’re not broken. You’re hurting, and it’s okay to feel that. Especially when the love isn’t returned the way your heart hoped.
Trying to stay busy, seeing her again… I can imagine it brings up waves of hope, or maybe just makes things messier inside. Maybe your mind is trying to hold onto the closeness even when your heart knows the reality.
You don’t need to rush to “get over it”. But you do deserve peace. And that peace doesn’t come from forgetting her—it comes from slowly remembering yourself again.
If it helps, you can talk about what made that time with her feel so special. Sometimes speaking the pain out loud softens its grip.
Here with you, whenever you’re ready to share more.
hi @user0885,
It does sound like a heartbreak, and i am sorry you are going through it. I know how it feels to have that void inside your chest, and healing takes time, sometimes a long time.
Surround yourself with close friends, family or even pets can help you a lot. Talk to them, share your thoughts and feelings with them, and sometimes the act of sharing alone will make you feel better. Cry if you feel the urge to (men feel emotions too). Take it one day at a time, and you heart will slowly heal.
You must have faith that you will find someone else, and you must take care of your mind and body before she appears in your life! All the best to you! 
We still see each other 2 or 3 times a week. when i see her I feel so close to her. i told her i feel so connected to her.she feels the same way saying she cant forget about me. she miss me not be around her house. but i know my feeling’s not the same way she feels about me.
Our hugs are tight, long, passionate and affectionate. we do hug more than one time.
Right now where i am staying at is only 7 miles from her house. I am not sure if i should move farther than 7 miles.
my heart still aches not being with her daily. and the reality is that shes straight and i am a lesbian. I think i need to move on.
Hey @user0885,
Thanks for sharing so honestly again. It’s incredibly painful to love someone deeply and know, even as you hold them close, that they may not feel the same way you do. That ache you feel? It’s real..
From what you shared—seeing her a few times a week, the hugs, the closeness—it sounds like your heart is still in it. And that’s probably why this hurts even more. There’s comfort in her presence, but also confusion. Your body still remembers the love, even as your mind tries to let go.
You said something really brave: “I think I need to move on.” That’s your heart starting to speak up for itself. Not because you’re weak or dramatic—but because you’re learning to honour the love you deserve, not just the love you feel.
It’s okay to grieve even if the goodbye wasn’t clear. Sometimes, letting go of someone who’s still around can feel harder than letting go of someone who’s gone. If it helps, try writing a letter—not to send, just to feel. Say what your heart needs to say. Say goodbye not to her, but to the version of “us” that you hoped could be real. You just loved someone who couldn’t love you back in the way your heart needed.
Hi @user0885,
It’s clear that you’re grieving something deeply personal - a connection that felt so natural and close, now shaped by distance and unspoken feelings. Living under the same roof must’ve made everything feel intertwined, and now that you’re apart, even simple things like dreams and casual conversations can stir a whole storm inside you.
That ache you’re feeling, the constant pull back to her - isn’t “wrong” or a sign that there’s something broken in you. It’s just love sitting in a space that’s no longer being returned the same way. And it’s okay for that to hurt as much as it does.
You’re doing everything you can to distract yourself - playing softball, keeping busy - and yet she’s still woven into your thoughts. Missing someone who meant that much doesn’t go away just because circumstances change.
You’re not alone in feeling this intensity, even if it’s overwhelming right now. What you’re going through is a sign of how deeply you care, not a flaw.