its extremely draining with how my emotions have been swinging. im fine for a few days and the next thing i know, im feeling like absolute ■■■■ and breaking down. what sucks is that times like this, i cry for hours, my head goes numb, my whole body feels disgusting to me and i just want to take my skin off me idk how else to put it. its so ■■■■■■■ exhausting having to keep myself together but i’m really trying. i know so well that i have people who love and support me, and that all these negative thoughts, its all in my head. i try so hard to control it but its so ■■■■■■■ difficult, the more i fight these overwhelming emotions and thoughts, the more draining it is. i have decided to schedule a psych appointment but its like because i have these brief periods when im fine i don’t know what to make of it? but i also know that when im distressed, it gets extremely hard, and then i feel fine again. i always feel like im just being dramatic and i get even more irritated that i can’t control it. sometimes i really feel like IM losing my mind with these cycles
Hey @user9812,
Reading this slowly, I also hear this part about back-and-forth sounds disorienting. It makes sense you’d start questioning yourself, getting irritated, wondering if you’re “just being dramatic.” It sounds like cycles that your body is going through, not something you’re choosing or failing to control…
are you safe in this moment?
Hey there, thank you for sharing something so personal. I want you to know that you’re not broken, and you’re not losing your mind. What you’re describing sounds incredibly painful and tiring, and it makes sense that you feel worn down by it.
Those emotional swings can be so frightening. When the sadness hits and your body feels wrong and overwhelming, it’s not because you’re weak or failing, it’s because your system is exhausted and trying to cope with a lot at once. And when you feel okay again, it doesn’t mean the pain before wasn’t real. Both states can exist, and that doesn’t make you “dramatic.”
I’m really glad you’ve decided to schedule a psych appointment. That’s a gentle, caring thing to do for yourself. Having moments where you feel fine doesn’t mean you don’t deserve help. It just means your pain comes in waves, and waves can still knock you over.
You’re trying so hard, even when it costs you so much energy. Please be kind to yourself in this. You don’t have to fight your feelings perfectly, and you don’t have to carry this alone. You’re doing the best you can right now, and that is enough 