Struggling with emotions

Hi, ever since the second half of 2025, I’ve been struggling badly with my mental health and emotions.

It started during an overseas trip to Vietnam with my family. My mum became upset with my sister over small matters and began badmouthing her to my sister’s mother-in-law, who was also on the trip. It created a very tense and painful environment. I broke down crying, and all she said to me was, “Now you know how I feel.” I felt completely dismissed.

I shared a room with her during that trip. She played songs loudly on her phone while I was trying to sleep and did not respect that I needed rest. I eventually had to sleep in the living room without blankets because I couldn’t tolerate the situation anymore. That trip left me feeling traumatised, and I told myself I would never travel overseas with her again.

After we returned from Vietnam, she isolated herself in her room and rarely came out. I began hearing pounding sounds late at night but didn’t understand what was happening.

Things escalated in September 2026. One night, she started shouting angrily. My dad went into her room, and she said that two people were hiding inside and had stolen her watch — but there was no one there. That was when I realised she was hallucinating. I called an ambulance and sent her to IMH.

While waiting in A&E, she asked to use the toilet. As I waited outside, I heard the same pounding sounds and long inhaling breaths. I later found out she had been snorting crushed pills. Her urine test came back positive for benzodiazepines.

She was hospitalised under the Mental Health Act for two weeks. During that time, I found slabs of Ritalin and benzodiazepines in her room. I also discovered that she had struggled with drug addiction before marriage but had been rehabilitated. This was something I never knew my entire life. I was shocked and felt deeply betrayed. I always believed she simply had a difficult personality — I never imagined this side of her existed.

During her hospitalisation, I tried to process the truth and my emotions. She seemed calmer and different while admitted, and I hoped things would change. But after discharge, she returned to her old behaviours. It felt like a second betrayal. That was when I started to feel that she cares more about her addiction than her family. She has even neglected her cats — pets she insisted on adopting.

Her paranoia has worsened. She frequently claims that people are hacking her phone. She has become careless and distracted, burning food multiple times.

I now feel unsafe in my own home — not just for myself, but also for my dad and the cats. I have difficulty sleeping because I am constantly anxious that something might happen. I avoid staying home because I do not want to deal with her. The hurt and disappointment have slowly turned into resentment. Sometimes I feel that cutting ties with her might be the only way to protect my own well-being.

My mental health has been deteriorating because of this, and it feels deeply unfair. I am easily triggered when speaking to her. It affects my focus at work and my relationships with others. I don’t know how to manage my emotions anymore. I keep questioning why God is testing me this way. I don’t feel strong — I feel like I am slowly breaking apart.

Sometimes, in my exhaustion, I even wish someone would forcibly rehabilitate her because I am so tired of carrying this burden.

Please help me.

Hey @user352864,

The most important thing right now is that you do not carry this alone any longer.

What you’ve described, your mum’s relapse, hallucinations, paranoia, hospitalisation under the Mental Health Act, and you feeling unsafe at home is beyond something you should be managing by yourself. The first step is for you to reach out for professional support.

Please contact 1771 (National Mindline) and speak to a counsellor as soon as possible. Tell them clearly that you are living with a parent who has relapsed on substances, has had hallucinations, and that you feel unsafe and hyper-alert at home. Ask them to help you arrange an in-person appointment with a mental health professional. This is confidential. You will not be judged. You will not be blamed. You will be supported.

If at any point you sense immediate danger, calling emergency services is not betrayal. It is containment and safety. Now, briefly, I want you to understand what is happening to you.

Since September 2025, your nervous system has been living in chronic uncertainty. Hearing noises at night. Discovering pills. Watching hallucinations unfold. Seeing relapse after discharge. That kind of unpredictability keeps the body in a state of alert. Sleep becomes lighter and you will react quickly hence you feel tense even when nothing is happening.

That is a trauma-like stress response. Nothing is wrong with you. Your body is responding to repeated threat cues in your own home.

The resentment and exhaustion you feel are common in caregiver strain. When responsibility becomes blurred, when you feel like the only stable adult, it wears you down. You are not responsible for curing her. Your mother is responsible for treatment adherence. The healthcare system is responsible for follow-up. Your father carries responsibility as spouse. You are responsible for your limits.

But before boundary work, before meaning-making, before processing betrayal and you need support. Please make a call with 1771. Arrange to see someone in person. Let a professional assess your situation properly and help you build a safety and coping plan.

You do not need to prove that you are “strong enough” to handle this. You’ve already handled too much alone.