Hey @Byul,
Thanks for sharing and hopefully, when you read this, it gives you something to lean on, even if it is just for a while…
It sounds like your energy’s been drained out faster than life can refill it. Reading how you wake up already feeling burnt before the day even begins… It sounds like your body and mind are saying enough, but the world keeps demanding more.
It also feels like school has become something you dread rather than a place to grow. Can I gently ask, what’s been happening there lately? Sometimes the constant pressure or loneliness in school can make every morning feel unbearable.
You mentioned you’re on medicine, may I also check what kind of medication it is for? Sometimes the body reacts by numbing the mood or making you feel more tired before things even out. And when you said you feel “helpless,” what does that helplessness look like for you, is it like being frozen, or more like no strength left to try?
About your question, “How do I continue living happily?” Maybe happiness isn’t something we chase when everything feels heavy. Sometimes it begins with learning how fear and sadness show up inside us, how they narrow our world until even small things feel impossible. Coping isn’t about forcing yourself to feel better; it’s about learning to regulate, to notice when the sadness grows loud, to pause, and to ask for support rather than facing it alone.
Regulation isn’t a skill we can just “do”. It’s something we practice with small check-ins, noticing what hurts, how long it lasts, and what helps soothe it. At times, we need people, professionals, or safe friends to lean on because our bodies aren’t meant to hold everything alone. Recognising that you feel this weak and hopeless, that’s already a huge first step. It shows you’re aware, and that awareness means your mind is still reaching for help, even if your heart feels done.
Medicine can’t erase the sadness overnight, it only helps your system tolerate the discomfort a little better each time. When we expect big shifts and they don’t come, it’s easy to lose hope and feel like nothing’s changing. But healing often looks like slow, almost invisible movement.
For now, maybe try this: when you wake up and that burning feeling hits, instead of asking, “How do I keep going?” ask, “What does my body need right now, a drink of water, a breath by the window, or just five minutes to not rush?” Small grounding acts help the body feel safe again.
And if the heaviness grows or the thoughts about ending get stronger, please reach out to SOS 1-767 or Mindline 1771, they’re there to help you hold the weight until it feels a bit lighter.
You don’t have to aim for “living happily” yet, maybe we just hold the goal of “staying here,” one morning at a time.
