I just want a honest answer. People tell me that I will recover, but it doesn’t seem like it.
Nothing makes me happy anymore. I’ve tried various things like writing, playing games, even drawing… but, with all honesty, they just make me feel even more depressed.
Like what most people have instructed me to do, I’ve already sought help from a psychologist and psychiatrist — the latter of which prescribed me medication and recently diagnosed me with PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder. I’m glad to receive the clarity from the diagnoses, and, for the most part, the medication serves its purpose; making me functional. But it doesn’t mean I’m happy with my life.
Life itself feels like a chore, if anything. I force myself to wake up, go to school and eat. It always tastes bland regardless of what type of food it is. Even getting through the day is difficult. I’m a stranger to my own life. Anhedonia really is, in my opinion, the worst symptom of depression. I don’t even feel sad, just numb.
It’s not just mental pain that I experience — it’s also physical. My legs, arms, chest, and back all hurt so much, and the headaches and nausea I experience are both getting unbearable.
Education-wise, I’m struggling to actually remember or process anything I’m taught due to how scattered my brain (if it even exists) is. I also have Developmental Coordination Disorder, to add insult to injury.
Before you ask, I’m not suicidal, I’m just depressed.
Now, my question is, am I doomed to forever be like this?
