Share encouragement: depression vs meds vs recovery

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previous thread got delisted due to various reasons.

So just putting it out here first, Just want to hear some lived experience and also encouraging perspective to keep this conversation going.

Just wondering out loud. Do people even recover and stop meds all together? Part of the reason why I wanna stop the meds is because I’m embarrassed to let anyone know that I’m on meds. And also I don’t think it works.

Some how I don feel better at all, apart from it helping me to fall asleep. But it does not keep me asleep throughout the night. And the care team says it’s due to stress hence I don’t get a restful sleep.

It’s been close to a year since I have been diagnosed, and taking meds. Apart from seeing a govt psychologist, I have been seeing a private counsellor on my own hoping to speed the recovery up.

On the ‘outside’ I function well. I go to work, I have friends, i volunteer during my free time, I support others (quite well actually, but I suck at supporting myself).

When I’m alone at home, I crash. I start to have all the negative self talk, I question my worth in this society etc etc.

I have been diligent with my meds. attempted to read self help books.Tried mindfulness, ‘tried’ because my mind really wanders to the end of the earth and sometimes do not return at times.

I feel quite helpless at times.

Sometimes all I want to do is just hide at home. But you still gotta go out, show up at work, socialise, blah blah.

So I wonder, for those who have managed to recover or at least get better or recognise their triggers/ when they spirals, what has worked for you?

share some words of encouragement and maybe someday i hope i get there too.

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Ive been going for boardgames and music events that r both free n cheap so that im not alone w my thoughts at home. I think the proper way would be being able to deal w the negative thoughts when alone but im not gonna do that for now.

Why did the last thread got delisted? It became unhelpful or something?

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One of the comments and suggestions got flagged although I can’t rem what was written. It got flagged and hidden.

I tend to run away from my issues when I’m alone. And at home I tend to drown myself in dramas and doomscrolling. Not very healthy but at least it dulls the brain from spiralling.

But when I’m out, I function like any normal person and you really can’t tell I have depression. Or maybe now you can because I’m quieter than before or my mind will wander a little more these days. So sometimes I will have you repeat yourself. Only closer friends can tell.

Strangers still thinks I’m someone really warm, chirpy which leads to my other thread that I feel like an imposter in my own skin. But that’s another topic for the other thread.

Just wanna hear what other activities I can try. Apart from exercise. I don’t like getting all sweaty :sweat_smile:

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Dear @wildflower,

When you wrote about functioning well on the outside, going to work, being with friends, volunteering, and then crashing hard when you’re home alone, it reminded me of what many clients have said to me. They’d sit down and confess how the quiet hours were the worst: the racing thoughts, the heavy self-talk, the sense of being worthless even though, to everyone else, they looked fine.

I’m sure you’ve already read many stories online, and the real question is… even if 10 other people share, is there a part of you might still turn skeptical, or wonder if their recovery could ever be yours. That doubt itself is normal. Many people have said the same in my sessions, even while still asking to hear more.

I’ve known people who stayed on meds long-term. One in particular said she stopped measuring her life by whether she could quit them, and instead by the friendships she rebuilt and the moments she could genuinely enjoy. Her story was a reminder that recovery can include medication and still be real.

You asked if people really recover. From what I’ve seen, recovery rarely means going back to an “old me.” It’s more like finding a version of yourself that can live with both the ups and the downs, without shame.

When you say you feel helpless at times, I want to hold that gently.. Helplessness doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human, carrying more than others see. For now, it matters that you’re still showing up here, still writing honestly, still holding on even while it feels heavy. That in itself is already part of recovery.

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Hi @Wildflower,

To answer your question, here are some insights that I’ve learnt as a person-in-recovery for the past five years:

Mental health recovery isn’t a binary choice between long-term medication and no medication at all. In my experience, it’s a nuanced journey - one that involves trust, collaboration, and ongoing reflection. I’ve found medications to be helpful, especially when guided by the expertise of my care team. If I ever have concerns about dosage or the type of medication I’m on, my Case Manager is always my first point of contact.

Just as someone might take paracetamol for a fever, SSRIs or other psychiatric medications serve a similar purpose. These medications are intended to support your recovery. There’s no shame in using tools that help you feel better. Medications are not a sign of weakness, instead, they’re part of a recovery toolkit.

That said, beyond the usual repertoire of self-care practices, it’s important to have a Safety Plan in place - especially between sessions with a professional. A Safety Plan acts as a grounding guide during moments of distress. It typically includes questions like:

- :mantelpiece_clock: When should I use this Safety Plan?

(e.g. When I notice early signs of emotional distress or feel unsafe.)

- :telephone_receiver: Who can I call when I’m struggling?

(Trusted friends, family members, helplines, or my Case Manager.)

- :herb: What helps me regulate my emotions?

(Breathing exercises, journaling, art, movement, grounding techniques.)

- :house: How can I keep my environment safe?

(Removing harmful objects, creating a calming space, setting boundaries.)

- :busts_in_silhouette: Who can I reach out to for professional support?

(Therapist, psychiatrist, counsellor, or crisis team.)

- :hospital: If I still don’t feel safe, how do I locate the nearest A&E?

(Know the address, transport options, and emergency contacts.)

I do hope that this helps to shed light on your concerns, @Wildflower. What’s important is that you continue to seek guidance from your professional care team to get the support you need. By having an honest conversation with your care team, it will enable them to take the appropriate steps to address your concerns. You’ve got this! :hugs:

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Hmmm till the day I get comfortable in this new skin I guess I just have to try harder each day…

and for those who subscribes to the other school of thoughts, I just wanna say, I’m not invalidating your journey or feelings. I had abandoned my care team during Covid partly due to the way the psychologist speaks to me (like my mother nagging at me) and also tele-consult really does not work for me. So I know how it feels when the journey doesn’t feel like it’s going in the right direction.

Imo, in my darkest and hardest times at work, writing down daily words of affirmations to myself helped me to get through each work in office day. That’s before I decide that that didn help anymore, and I decided on a career break instead as just surviving till lunch time was just so hard. (If I’m making any sense here)

So I just thought that having hear lived experiences will probably help provide some form of encouragement that I will reach there someday.

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Hey @wildflower,

The way you put it, “I guess I just have to try harder each day”, it really shows how much weight you’re carrying. sometimes “trying harder” feels like the only option, but it also left you exhausted before, just surviving till lunch time and it made sense you chose a career break when pushing harder stopped working. Also, how covid disrupted your care… a psychologist whose tone felt like nagging, tele-consults that didn’t land and when the relationship doesn’t feel safe or the format doesn’t fit, it makes staying with care so much harder. none of that means you failed; it means the conditions weren’t right for you.

And when you spoke about affirmations, I see how they carried you for a while and then stopped working, still, that doesn’t erase their value; it just shows your needs shifted. Coping tools are like that, useful for a season, then replaced or reshaped.

You’re right that hearing lived experiences can give encouragement, recovery is still yours, at your pace, in your shape and it’s not only about “trying harder,” it’s about finding what sustains you without draining you. If you ever lose your tongue in sessions again, remember you don’t have to present a polished version of your struggle, even handing over one written line can keep the door open.

Some reflections you might try, just to anchor your strengths and ease the pressure of “trying harder”:

  1. Name what you’ve already done - list out the meds, sessions, affirmations, breaks, books. then ask: “what does this show about how much I’ve tried to care for myself?”

  2. See coping tools as evolving, not failing - pick one thing that once helped, like affirmations, and ask: “what did this give me while it worked? what does it say about my ability to adapt when I needed something different?”

  3. Lighten the therapy pressure - before your next appointment, jot one phrase you’d want read if your tongue disappears, that note itself is still your voice.

  4. Shift from harder → gentler - ask: “if I gave myself permission to try gentler today, what small thing could feel lighter instead of heavier?”

  5. Notice self-empathy - you said you don’t want to invalidate others’ journeys. ask: “what does this show about the kindness I also hold for myself?”

Your recovery won’t be rushed by effort alone, its great that you have goals and envision them what they look like at the end, but that is only one-third of the journey. The two thirds of the journey is when you gradually learn to lean more on those that you experienced positively for yourself. I hear your concerns on the over reliance of meds and it is valid. That means that you have also made a conscious effort to find supportive ways for your recovery.

So your plans are as important, not just sticking to your plans with the help of professionals, also providing consistent feedback to them with evidence on what you observe, always clarify your expectations and ground yourself with helpful beliefs not just encouragement, take action and adjust. In a similar fashion, this applies to adulting and not just recovery, it can be alot to digest, keep writing and discovering.

Meanwhile work with a counsellor that you find as a helpful match and build on that pace knowing that you have done your best. You are a better version of yourself each day.

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Hi @Wildflower, it can indeed be difficult when the support given by your Care Team doesn’t suit your needs.

And when it comes to public hospitals, trying to get help from healthcare providers can be an arduous journey. I’ve had the experience of having to wait 4 months in the public healthcare system, just to see a psychologist at the height of COVID-19. Feeling frustrated about not receiving the right kind of support is a common concern, and you are not alone in feeling this way.

However, when you mention about “trying harder”, I’d like to encourage you to take a pause on that. As @FuYuan_Affections had mentioned, it may be helpful to be gentle with yourself, and acknowledge all the things that you’ve already done to aid in your recovery (like attending counselling sessions and writing down daily words of affirmations).

I hope these encouraging words speak to you, @Wildflower. Every day is another opportunity for you to be a better version of yourself. :hugs:

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Hi OP,

I’m not sure if I’m the right person to answer this because I am also currently still on medications for depression. However, I have a more favourable experience with it and has tremendously helped with the loud voices in my head.

I do get bouts of those thoughts whether it’s still worth it to keep living. Sure, life has been better now, but I also have other problems in my life that are chaining me down. I’ve lost an important person in my life and was forced to take on the responsibility of the sole breadwinner. I often thought that it’s unfair I’m forced to take on these responsibilities not out of my own choice…and I kept wondering if I had died, maybe I would be able to escape the prison I was in.

But I’m still here–and honestly, I’m not sure myself. I indulge myself in things I love–drawing, creating stories, going to art conventions, watching medias I love. I would say my passion in creative arts helps a lot in keeping me going. I love stories–whether it’s listening to my friends, from the people I watch online, from films, games, visual stories. Maybe it’s also because I have this one sole goal in mind: to leave a legacy before I die.

I would say that after being on meds, I start to recognise patterns of negative self-talk and I know that I just have to ride it out. Feeling like crap is normal, and rather than trying to ignore, I try to feel it and let it spread across my body. Something about being mindful and understanding oneself. Haha, I’m not quite sure.

Anyways, sorry if I rambled quite a lot. I can understand it’s not easy when you’ve been medicated for so long and feel no effect whatsoever. But I will say, things will get better. Maybe not drastically, but little by little. Wishing you all the best, OP :heart:

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